Breastfeeding: Support your Natural Moms

Welcome to the July 2010 Carnival of Nursing in Public

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Nursing in Public hosted by Dionna and Paige at NursingFreedom.org. All week, July 5-9, we will be featuring articles and posts about nursing in public ("NIP"). See the bottom of this post for more information.

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Today I am going to touch on the subject of breastfeeding in public. Yes, I said breastfeeding in a dad blog haha. In support of the Carnival of Nursing in public, I decided to write this post in support of breastfeeding moms everywhere who are discriminated against and singled out for doing nothing more than caring for their children.

A lot of dads are uncomfortable with the subject, and I must admit I was for a long time, until I had children of my own. My wife did not breastfeed, but as a dad, and having read many things on the subject, my view of nursing in public changed quite a bit. I used to be one of these people that couldn't believe it when I saw a mother nursing a child in a public setting and will be man enough to admit that. But I believe growing up a little, and having children changed my perspective.

Now I look at it as just a mother caring for their child in a very natural way. Nothing more. There is nothing explicit or sexual about it. And definately, nothing wrong with it worth being kicked out of a public place. Whether using a bottle or the breast, feeding and caring for a child is nothing more than feeding and caring for a child. How do you think it used to be done before the bottle?

So, why is it that we have become desinsitized to the thought of a woman feeding her baby in the most natural of ways? When did, what used to be the only way of feeding a baby,  become such a touchy subject, and in some places, frowned upon? In my opinion, we have media to blame for a lot of it and insensible people who cannot learn to learn and understand.  Television, movies, YouTube, ect. The world has been flooded with images and thoughts that any bearing of skin by a female should be taken in an explicit and sexual manner. What was once not even thought twice about is now viewed as "skanky" and ill-mannered. 

I can comepletely understand arguments from people who don't have children of their own or just don't understand nursing in general and I respect their opions. But here is my point: Why are you looking at a mom who is nursing as some sort of sexual and provocative action? Have you people lost your minds? I think it is time for the world to examine nursing in public and the process of nursing in general and understand that this is natural, and in no way meant to be sexual. Look past what society has been teaching you, and become more educated to the subjects. Learn to learn and understand

Men, dads, general public: Breastfeeding is natural. It has been natural since the beginning of time. Can't we learn to overcome the brainwash being pushed on us by "sex sells" media powerhouses and learn a little more compassion? Can we not evolve into more carign and understanding people who are willing to learn and willing to be understanding of the life choices of others? 

Dads, we all love our wives, and all respsect what they do and their part in the care of our children. Why don't we learn to support all moms, and stand up for their rights? Why don't we call on the modern dad to not just change the face of dadhood, but to help shape the future of parenting, period? We are called to be real and it doesn't stop with just ourselves. We can help make the world a more understanding place for dads AND moms alike. 

Discrimination is wrong, period. The world doesn't have to be full of spiteful ignorance, and we can help make that change!

Written by John T for the Carnival of Nursing in Publlic

Welcome to the Carnival of Nursing in Public

Please join us all week, July 5-9, as we celebrate and support breastfeeding mothers. And visit NursingFreedom.org any time to connect with other breastfeeding supporters, learn more about your legal right to nurse in public, and read (and contribute!) articles about breastfeeding and N.I.P.

Do you support breastfeeding in public? Grab this badge for your blog or website to show your support and encourage others to educate themselves about the benefits of breastfeeding and the rights of breastfeeding mothers and children.

This post is just one of many being featured as part of the Carnival of Nursing in Public. Please visit our other writers each day of the Carnival. Click on the links below to see each day’s posts - new articles will be posted on the following days:

July 5 - Making Breastfeeding the Norm: Creating a Culture of Breastfeeding in a Hyper-Sexualized World

July 6 – Supporting Breastfeeding Mothers: the New, the Experienced, and the Mothers of More Than One Nursing Child

July 7 – Creating a Supportive Network: Your Stories and Celebrations of N.I.P.

July 8 – Breastfeeding: International and Religious Perspectives

July 9 – Your Legal Right to Nurse in Public, and How to Respond to Anyone Who Questions It

Q&A with James (@portlanddad) : Being a SAHD

The Q&A series with SAHDs continues today with James (@portlanddad). James is a SAHD from Portland. He is also a member of the Band of SAHD that can be heard on Blog Talk Radio every sunday night at 11pm EST/ 8pm PST. James is the husband of one, and father of 2. On his blog, sahdpdx.com , he chronicles his journeys as an at home dad and life as it is. So without further delay, here is James, in his own words. Thanks for sharing with us!


1) Tell us a little about your family - Our family consists of two parents and two kids, we feel like keeping the sides even help regulate the situation. My wife and I have been married for 6 years and we have a 4 year old and 2 year old son. We live in a house in Portland with another family and their 21 month old son. My wife works and I am home with our boys and our housemates son and I love it.

2) How was the decision reached that you would be a SAHD? -  My wife and I first had a conversation about one of us being home and we agreed that we both wanted that. The money that could be made with both of us working wasn't worth some one else raising our kids and so then the conversation turned to who would be the one at home. My wife loves the interaction of working out side the house and I am naturally the more nurturing one so it was a pretty easy decision. There have been times when we have switched back for a year because of moving across the country but we are in the roles that best suit our family.

3) Do you find it harder than you thought it would be? - I knew that being the one home with the kids was going to be tough so it is not tougher than I thought it would be. There are times when it is the hardest job I have ever had and the feelings of isolation are the toughest to deal with. It is like any other job in that way, where there are times when you complain about your job to who ever will listen and times when it is so rewarding and engaging that you can't believe how lucky you are.

4) Have you ever wished the parental roles were reversed? - Not for very long. There are times when I would like my wife to experience how tough it is with the boys, but those are always tempered with the fact that I don't want to do what she does. I like the role I have and find contentment and validation in being the at home parent.

5) People approach you and ask what you do, and you say you are a SAHD, what is there initial reaction? - For the most part you get positive reactions. People are happy to see fathers that are more involved and engaged with their kids so they are supportive but every once in a while you get people that make some sort of snide comment. It's cool with me though, like I said I love what I do and know what it means for my family and how my wife views me. There is this thought that you are less of a man for not working but I think that's horse shit.

6) What is the single greatest thing about being a SAHD? - Time spent with my boys. Seeing those first steps, hearing the phrases throughout the day as they learn to interact and make sense of their world. I get to be there for that and I know what the oldest means when he says "Funny Looking SUV" because I was there the first time he said. That's what he calls Scions by the way.

7) Why do you think more dads are choosing to be the at home parent? - I think that as more options are opening up for women that same thing is happening for traditional roles with the family. There are men that don't choose to be at home and that becomes tough for them to deal with. It is the same for the women that didn't get to choose the role they have and the feelings of isolation and being trapped. For many families it is a question of finances but I think there are a number of men that are choosing to be at home with the kids out of a purely nurturing standpoint. As that glass celling starts to crack for the women the doors to the home are opening to the men.

8) Think you would have the same bond with your children if you were working? - I think I would have a similar bond but not the same. I am the one that they want when they are scared or hurt because I am the one that is there all day. When I was working that wasn't the case and as my wife is out of the house and working it is not the case for her. If I were working outside the house I would still be super involved like a lot of dads are lately but there is that time spent aspect that I wouldn't have.

9) Has being the at home parent changed your relationship with your wife? Better? Worse? - I think it has been better because we are both operating out of our strengths as a couple. My wife has intense feelings of guilt for not being home with the boys but at the same time she has no interest in actually being home with them. It is a tough internal battle for her but I think I do a lot to alleviate the tension by doing the job well and finding contentment in the role. Our boys are doing great, learning and interacting with other kids really well and seeing that makes my wife appreciate the life we have chosen.

10) Finally, give new and expectant fathers a little advice for their new adventure into dadhood ... Get on the floor, no matter how tired and worn out you are get on the floor with your kids. When they have tummy time as babies get down there with them. As they crawl let them crawl over you and wrestle with them. Some of the best times I have had with my boys is when I am too tired to play but just lay on the ground and let them play on me. Seeing the world on their level and them seeing you get down there does so much for your relationship.


portlanddad@sahdpdx.com
http://twitter.com/portlanddad
http://sahdpdx.com

Calling all Dads: Time for Change

So today marks my first day of quitting smoking. I very rough task ahead for sure considering my almost pack and a half a day habit. (yes, I know I am young, but it is an addiction). I have smoked for a number of years, and many many times I have said I was going to quit. Never did. That changes TODAY though.

As with the ending of all tough-to-break habits,  there is support needed. After talking with @PapaRocks6 about support, accountability, and encouragement, the idea was formed to put the call and challenge out to dads everywhere for support of each other.

We all have things in our lives that we want or need to change. And support and accountability is always very key in making these changes. So why not do it together?

Change is inevitable. It is going to happen whether we want it to or not in most cases. And time is always fleeting. So now is the time for change. Why wait to make decisions you believe in your heart and know in your head are real, pure, and needed? If you knew for sure  (could see into the future) that changing today would make tomorrow great, would you hesitate? Didn't think so. Should we not stand up, get real with ourselves, and decide that blinders are not goign to slow us down?

Dads: We have shown the world the new face of dads, involved, caring, and devoted. Now it is time to show the world what we can do for each other. It is time to make the changes we have wanted and needed to, and we can do it together. Whether you are like me and wish to quit smoking or you want to change your eating habits, drinking habits, or whatever the change is that you want to make, we can do it! And we can be support for each other, and hold each other accountable.

So who is with me? Leave a comment with the change you would like to make in your life, starting TODAY!!! Leave a way to be contacted and let's get the ball rolling. Mountains are high, but we can get over them to see the other side if we can lean on each other.

Let us hold each other accountable, support each other, and encourage each other. We have changed the face of dadhood now let's change our lives!

Kicking Bugs and Taking Naps: My Son and Me

Let me start off by saying this: MY SON IS CRAZY!!! Haha ... no really, my son has such a vibrant imagination, and is so hyper all the time, you can't hlp but to laugh and love him. He plays without pausing and can create such wonderful, imaginary worlds to play in, that sometimes i wish I could invent a virtual reality room to bring these worlds to life.

Now don't get me wrong, all that cuteness, all the adorable "catch phrases" he has, and all the charm, cannot keep him from blowing mommy and daddy's tops with his tantrums, non-compliancy, and lack of listening when we are telling him what he can and can't do. But then again, boys will be boys, 3 year olds will be 3 year olds, and I am sure my mother would tell you that I have no room to be talking because I was the same way at that age.

So, why did I decide to write this post about him? Well duh, it's because I love the little booger. It is much easier, being at the age he is and developing the way he is, to interact with him more and become a part of those worlds. Where my daughter is just 13 months, she hasn't developed all these characteristics, although she is coming into her own more and more each day now. My son and I have such a different relationship because of the way we interact. Me and my son, my son and me.

Sure, I praise him when he does the right thing or reaches a new milestone, and I lay down "daddy law" when the roughneck side of him shows. I can feed him, bathe him, and maintain his general upkeep, and all the parts of parenting that come with, well, being a parent. But a large part of our relationship is revolved around me being a "playmate" for him. Me and my son, my son and me.

We don't know many people with children his age around here, being that my wife and I are a few years younger than most the parents of children his age and we don't have much of a social life outside of people I work with and our neighbors. And all that is okay by me. I am quite happy spending more time with my family than we do going out to parties and date nights or what have you. So as my son's mental awareness and the ability to imagine and really bring those dreams and childhood thoughts of his to life, I was here for it all. Me and my son, my son and me.

Him and I have spent many a countless hour sitting on the couch, watching the "ree rees" (what he called dinosaurs when younger) and "Back Room, Outta Range" (Veggie Tales: The Pirates who don't do Anything from Big Idea Productions). We have searched for a lost egg, run from "boogies" and raced around the world, all in the comfort of our home. We have killed imaginary bugs and spiders to fill an imaginary 42' tractor trailer and talked to everyone on the face of the planet with children's play phones. Me and my son, my son and me.

Me and my son, my son and me. Kicking bugs, and taking naps. Shooting the breeze, and giving daps.  I wouldn't change it for the world. My son is one of my best friends. And that is perfectly cool. What dad doesn't want to be their son's best friend? I know that in a few years, especially when he starts school, the relationship will change. I will no longer be his favorite playmate, or the first friend he tells a secret to. But I will always be dad. I will always be here, when he is in need of a friend, or a closer shoulder to cry on. And if he ever needs a playmate from me, I will always be ready to let my imagination run free with his. Me and my son, my son and me.

Real Talk: Being a Man of Courage

"Courage: The ability to face uncertainty and step out of ones comfort zone and face fear; One who is not afraid to admit their wrongdoings no matter the sentence; Unafraid to admit fear, and when help is needed" - The DaddyYo Blog

Many people look at courage in many different ways. Some view people of courage as a soldier who dies for home and country; a stranger who takes a bullet for someone they have never known, and will never know as a result of selfless actions. Others view it as someone who is unafraid to stand up for what is right, and what they believe in; someone who will do what it takes to support their family, no matter how far out of their comfort zone they may have to go.

Neither view of courage is wrong. In fact, they are all great examples of how ordinary people become heroes and legends. Courage is not something we are born with. Rather, it is a trait we develop. Whether out of necessity, or because we want to try something new and spice up our lives, it is a characteristic that must be worked on. So how does a "real man" show his courage?

Letter to my Dad: Happy Father's Day

To My Dad on Father's Day:



27 years ago, you witnessed the birth of a son. A son, whom 27 years later, still looks up to you, still believes in you, and still is grateful for having you in his life. I could not have asked for a better dad. You have been by my side through greatness and in my lowest of times.

You have been my advisor and guide; a source of strentgh and courage. Firm, but fair, and the expample of a real man in my life. You showed me what it means to put family first and to not be afraid to step out of my comfort zone to do what it takes to support my family now. You have loved me without end, and without limitation. You have loved me with a real love that has resonated in my heart for 27 years.

This Father's Day I not only celebrate my own dadhood and being a father to my two wonderful children, but I give much thanks and praise for the dad in my life, without whom I would not be who I am today.

I thank you for always being there for me, even when I gave reason not to be. I praise you for your commitment to your faith, your God, and your calling for your family. I give thanks that I had a dad in my life like you, who did what it took to raise his two children to the best of his ability, never lost hope, and never gave up. Thank you for who you are, and all you mean to me and our family.

I love you,
The Nimrod