Fatherhood Friday Blog Hop Courtesy of Dad at The Chalkboard

GOOD FRIDAY MORNING! Hope everyone is looking forward to the weekend coming up. I know those of you in my area and the surrounding areas are gearing up for race weekend over at Bristol Motor Speedway. If you are going, be careful and be smart. As for me, I will be off today, but back to work tomorrow. Weekends off are a rarity for me. But I digress.

Friday is a great time in the online dadosphere. Lots of great posts about dadhood going up in honor of Fatherhood Friday. But what about those of us, like me, who find themselves in the midst of a brain fart on Friday? The answer is simple! IT'S A BLOG HOP!!! Brian ( @SpinyNorman ) to the rescue with his 2nd Fatherhood Friday blog hop over at Dad at the Chalkboard.

The dads have been talking, they have been writing, but most important, they have been sharing. Here is your chance to share with the rest of the dadosphere and keep the community growing and supported. The online community of dads is an amazing group, and is always ready to welcome anything another day may have to share. Here is the 411 on how to get hopping!!!! (via Dad at the Chalkboard)

The Guidlines

1. You need to be a father. New father, old father, soon to be father, want some day to be a father, father...doesn't matter. You just need to be a dad. (Or a really awesome mom!)

2. You must own and maintain your own blog.

3. If you meet the requirements for rules one and two, look back over your posts from the past week, from Friday to Friday. Re-read them all.

4. Choose the post you feel was your particular BEST for the week. It can be funny, helpful, sad, dramatic, deep, light...whatever. Pick the post that most reflects you and what your awesome blog has to offer.

5. Follow the host. That's me. It's quick and painless and I always follow back. (This part is optional, but oh so appreciated!)

6. Put your blog address and a short description of the post in the Linky link located below. Be short but concise. (You know...like twitter!)

7. After you are on the list, surf the posts of the other dads and follow as many as you can. Read and above all else COMMENT! We all know that comments are to bloggers what a keg of Dear Park water is to a desert nomad.

8. Grab the code below, create a new post on your blog, and enter it so you can share the growing list with all your followers. Then just sit back and let it grow!


Join us this Friday and share with the other dads of the web your favorite post from your blog. And of course, enjoy the weekend with your family. Remember that yesterday is just a memory, and tomorrow is but a prayer. We are never guaranteed the time, so don't sit back and stare.

Introducing: Dads Talking - Because Mommy Lets Daddy Talk Sometimes

It  has been said many times by many people: 2010 is the Year of the Dads! The force of dads in the social media world and the ever changing face of dads the world over has been a powerful force in 2010. We have seen an explosion of dad bloggers, such as myself, media outlets talking about the roles that many dads are taking on in their family life, articles about SAHDs redifining the roles of fatherhood. Dads are everywhere!

There is another aspect of dadhood that is being seen now as well: dads are talking! Dads the country and world over are talking, and doing a lot of it. Talking everything from family values, to their own roles
in their families, to the struggles of mainting a balance between work and dadhood. All over the internet,
dads are banding together to support one another, talk with one another, and an amazing online community of dads is being built. It has truly been an amazing thing to be a part of.

This week, DadsTalking.com was launched by Jim Turner (@Genuine). A site dedicated to all things dad and what dads the world over are talking about. The #DadsTalking hashtag on Twitter has also become a huge community with more and more dads getting in on the discussions and the silliness. Now note: this is Dads TALKING not Dad STALKING haha. The website featured a kick off chat bash on saturday with 101 dads total joining in over a 5 hour streaming chat! That's AMAZING!!!

Dads Talking is much more than a web site though, it is quickly becoming a huge movement and will take you by storm! Check out the web site, check out the hashtag on twitter #DadsTalking , and join the
movement of dads who are becoming active in their children's lives and aren't afraid to say so!

On the web;

http://www.dadstalking.com

http://www.twitter.com/DadsTalking

http://www.twitter.com/Genuine

Use TweetChat.com and check out the hashtag #DadsTalking

You can also check out what dads are saying on the #DadsTalking hashtag right here from the blog and on the DadsTalking.com website!

My Commitment to The DaddyYo Blog

I started writing The DaddyYo Blog back in April of this year. Didn't really think about where I would go with it at that time, just that I wanted to start writing about my experiences and thoughts about being a dad and sharing  it with others. This was when I had only 29 followers on Twitter too. Now, 4 short months later, I have over 400 followers, and the blog has come into its own. I have had so much fun with it, and I am truly blessed for the connections I have made with others through the blog and twitter.

I was talkin to my boss the other day about it. I told him "If there is anything in the world that I could chose to do, love it, get paid enough to support a family, and do it for a long time, it would be writing about being a dad. It's my passion, my joy, and my honor. Obviously, it is a very hard job to write a dad blog and get paid enough to support a family of 4, and I don't really expect it to happen. So where am I going with this?

 I told my wife a few months back, and now I am telling you about my commitment. I have made the comittment to writing The DaddyYo Blog until the last child has moved out of the house. That's right, for the next however many years it is, I will continue to write this blog, every week, until the day the last child moves out. Let's put that in perspective. My youngest is a year old. Giving an average of 4 years in college and moving out that same year, thats 21 years from now. At an average of 3 posts per week, that's 3,276 posts until then.

Why the commitment? The journey through dadhood is a never ending trip. It is a quest of sorts. I will always have new experiences and knowledge to write about and share with others. There will be the first day of school, first date, first turn down, the struggles or adolesence and puberty, prom, graduation, college selection, weddings, and the time for leaving the nest.  There will be a lot of experiences and growing during that time. There will be many times of joy, many times of sadness, and many times of all out, stick you to the walls silly stuff. There will be much to share and much to write. Only when they move out is my job as dad, preparing them to step into the world on their own, be complete. Obviously I will still be dad, but my job will be complete.

When it is all said and done, I will write one final post. A farewell and thanks for the memories. I will look back on all my years raising my children and on the posts and the memories attached to them. I may never do this for a full time living. I may never see a single penny from it all. But what I will get from it is the opportunity to share my life as a dad with the world. To let people into my life, my home, my mind, and share what I learn, what I do, and the joys that come with being "Daddy". It has been so much fun so far, and I look forward to many many more years of bringing my experience as a dad to you, and to look back as time goes by at where I was, to where I am, and think of where I am going. When it is all said and done, it will have been a fantastic ride, and worth every second of it.

DaddyYo

Guest Post by Josh: What being a dad has taught him about himself

Today's guest post is brought to you by Josh (@DadStreet). New to the dad blogging world, and 

a super swell guy. I asked him to write a guest post for me about what being a dad has taught him about himself. So without further delay, Josh, in his own words. 

So a few days ago I get a message from John asking me to write a guest post on his blog.  To me this is a huge honor for anyone.  His blog is about something special; it's about being a dad.  A blog is your home, a place where you can post whatever you want, whenever you want.  So when John asked me to come into his house and hang my hat it meant a lot to me.  John asked me to write about what being a dad has taught me about myself.  No easy question to answer and I've had to give it some thought...

First, let me quickly introduce myself.  My name is Josh, I recently started a Daddy Blog over at www.DadStreet.com.  I’m married to a beautiful woman who made me chase her for 8 years before giving me the honor.  After 4 failed IUI’s, 1 miscarriage, and given less than 10% chance of ever conceiving, I have 2 beautiful, amazing children, Olivia age 2 and Jake 11 months.  I’m a wine loving, gourmet cooking, photo taking, iPhone slinging, extrovert who can be summed up in 3 letters, D-A-D.

Real Talk: Taking a Deeper Look Inside (Final Post for this Series)

I have been posting in the "Real Talk" series for a couple of weeks now, talking about what it means to be a "real man" in different areas of our life. The feedback has been great and I have been learning a lot about myself as well while writing this series.

But today, it is time to stop, and take a look at my life, and evaluate where I am at in my quest to become more real. It's time to look at where I am, and where I want to go, and what I have to do to get there.  This will be the last post in the series for a little while and the series will be moved to new hosting over at Real Authentic Men. So, sit down with me, let me lie on your couch, and take a look inside.

Real Talk: Guest Post from Adam (@homebrewdharma)

So I was asked by @DaddyYoEffinRox if I wanted to write a guest post on what I think it means to be “a real man”. Sure, I thought, should be easy enough.  But then so many questions. How to define “a real man”? By who’s standards? What are the implications of such a label? So then I tried to just not think about it for a few days.

I struggled while I attempted to write this. I thought about it probably 30 different ways. I tried to define it by this standard or that standard, but none of that really worked. Should I go from a mid-west perspective? A Buddhist one? How does the media portray “real men”? Generally I don’t give much thought to what constitutes a “real” version of anything (I recently blogged about my distaste for those that claim to have the “true” version of their religion) but considering what the media and society at large has to say about this particular subject, I think I owe it to my fellow men to give it a shot, even if I’m wrong. And in the theme of this blog (and my own experience), I think I’ll try and frame the idea of a “real man” into the role of fatherhood.

I had about 1000 words written about my father and grandfather, and how they gave me solid examples of what a “real man” is/should be. Things like fixing your own car, doing things right the first time (half-assed anything was grounds for punishment growing up) putting your family first, having confidence and instilling that confidence in those around you. But then I started to have some real reservations about my childhood models for manhood.

One thing I never learned as a youth was what a man was supposed to be, only what a man was supposed to do. The men in my life rarely told me how to be, rather they just taught me what to do and what not to do. A man was supposed to work his ass off, hunt, play/watch football, work on cars, roof his friend’s house, build decks, mow the lawn, work his ass off, drink beer, wear Wranglers, buy American, work his ass off, and grill in the summertime.  Well, at least those were the most readily available (although a bit exaggerated) examples. But true to the old adage “do as I say, not as I do”, our Fathers all told us “dear god, don’t do what we do! Go to school so you never have to live like this!” So I was immersed in one reality and told to live another that was completely foreign to me, because the ideals that I embraced weren’t really ideals to be embraced even though it seemed as if they should be.

Has every generation experienced this? I know that parents generally try to elevate their children’s station in life above their own. But has society progressed so much that this becomes unrealistic? Is there now too much of a gap to be bridged? Maybe this is why my generation has such a hard time coping with “manhood” and parenting and adulthood. Our whole life we lived in one world, and were told to dream and strive for another with no idea of how that ideal actually works; no idea how to put it into practice. So we struggle. I struggle. I struggle with how to live and raise my children in the utopia my Father hoped to create for me, while at the same time I reach back for those qualities I admired about the “real men” of my youth.

Maybe what was lacking was the spiritual side of manhood, of fatherhood. Maybe when our grandfathers came back from WW2, they had no sprit left to give their sons. So manhood became something that was altogether mechanical, and was out of balance. Our fathers then pursued this mechanized lifestyle which fulfilled the mundane aspects of their lives, but left little room for them in the realm of that which is ethereal. For a few years, my dad raised me all by himself, and I now wonder if he struggled with this on some subconscious level. I wonder how detached my grandfather was. I wonder how my Father’s generation prepared for Fatherhood, if at all?

I’m starting to feel that what I’ve been searching for in my adulthood/fatherhood experience is the point at which I can touch what it is I’ve been attempting to define here. Is that why I feel like my generation is so… lost? Because we fail in our attempt to reach that point of contact? I wonder if we know we’re even supposed to be searching for it. Rather than attempt live up to the ideal of a “real man” (however you may choose to define it), I feel like most of the time we just get through the day without much attention to our intentions and motivations, mostly just stumbling.

So what is a real man here, now, in 2010? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to pin that down. I’m still unsure of how to bethat living example of what it is I want my son to strive towards. At times I feel like I’ll never be half the man my father was, and other times I think that might be a good thing.

Or maybe the entire narrative of a “real man” is a false one; a narrative that exists only in fairy tales and Lifetime original movies. And if so, it might be a harmful one. Look at the false narrative that women have to live up to: the wafer-thin models that grace the covers of tabloid magazines put up like billboards advertising that this, yes this is what beauty is. Do we need this kind of stress in our lives? Do I need a constant reminder of how I’m failing to be a “real man”, especially since I can’t even seem to define what that is? We’ll never live up to the Bill Brasky-esque stories we hear around the proverbial water cooler. And we shouldn’t need to try.

 It might just be that what makes a “real man” isn’t any set-in-stone list of qualities. I don’t think it really can be. I do my best to avoid absolutes, and this certainly doesn’t seem like the moment to embrace one. I’m wondering if what makes a man a “real man” is simply in the honest effort that he puts into his work, his family, his self, his community. I’m realizing now that my manhood can be found in the moments when I strive to be the example I wish to set for my children and their generation, regardless if I ever get there.

Adam Johnson

http://www.twitter.com/homebrewdharma

http://dharmabrewing.wordpress.com

Cheers.

Real Talk: Balance of being Hubby and Daddy

As dads, we are always struggling with how to be the best daddy we can be and the best men we can be. In the "Real Talk" series, we have talked about what it means to be a "real man" in different areas of our lives. Being a dad, being a husband, having courage, and making changes.

Then yesterday, my mom put the seed in my brain in raising this issue: To be the best dads you can be, you also must be the best husband-partner you can be. Powerful thought! There is a balance in our lives between being the best dad and being the best partner for our spouses. Both of which are very important in having a healthy relationship with our families, and for helping us become "real men".

 Obviously, in some situations, it is not always possible for both parents to be at home, and I understand and acknowledge that completely. Choices that other's make are their choices and I am not here in any manner to step on peoples toes or to judge. However, I cannot write this post from that perspective not being in that type of situation myself. And I will not pretend to know about anything I don't know. This post deals with those of us who are married or have a partner at home. That being said, let's move on, shall we?

Real Talk: Being a Man of Courage

"Courage: The ability to face uncertainty and step out of ones comfort zone and face fear; One who is not afraid to admit their wrongdoings no matter the sentence; Unafraid to admit fear, and when help is needed" - The DaddyYo Blog

Many people look at courage in many different ways. Some view people of courage as a soldier who dies for home and country; a stranger who takes a bullet for someone they have never known, and will never know as a result of selfless actions. Others view it as someone who is unafraid to stand up for what is right, and what they believe in; someone who will do what it takes to support their family, no matter how far out of their comfort zone they may have to go.

Neither view of courage is wrong. In fact, they are all great examples of how ordinary people become heroes and legends. Courage is not something we are born with. Rather, it is a trait we develop. Whether out of necessity, or because we want to try something new and spice up our lives, it is a characteristic that must be worked on. So how does a "real man" show his courage?

Letter to my Dad: Happy Father's Day

To My Dad on Father's Day:



27 years ago, you witnessed the birth of a son. A son, whom 27 years later, still looks up to you, still believes in you, and still is grateful for having you in his life. I could not have asked for a better dad. You have been by my side through greatness and in my lowest of times.

You have been my advisor and guide; a source of strentgh and courage. Firm, but fair, and the expample of a real man in my life. You showed me what it means to put family first and to not be afraid to step out of my comfort zone to do what it takes to support my family now. You have loved me without end, and without limitation. You have loved me with a real love that has resonated in my heart for 27 years.

This Father's Day I not only celebrate my own dadhood and being a father to my two wonderful children, but I give much thanks and praise for the dad in my life, without whom I would not be who I am today.

I thank you for always being there for me, even when I gave reason not to be. I praise you for your commitment to your faith, your God, and your calling for your family. I give thanks that I had a dad in my life like you, who did what it took to raise his two children to the best of his ability, never lost hope, and never gave up. Thank you for who you are, and all you mean to me and our family.

I love you,
The Nimrod

Real Talk: Being a "Real Man" - Guest Post by @mochadad

Walking through my old neighborhood, I noticed one of my old friends, Vando, walking toward me.
“What’s up, man,” he said as we shook hands. A few years had passed since I had seen Vando, but his weathered face made it seem as if it were decades.
“Nothing much,” I replied. “What’s been up with you?”
“Same ole, same ole,” he said. “Just trying to survive.” I knew all about his means of survival. Petty theft, pimping, and drug trafficking kept his pockets full of cash.

While we reminisced, I learned the fates of some of the neighborhood boys we grew up with. The ones who weren’t dead or in jail were quickly on their way towards one or the other. Only a few of us managed to slip through the cracks.

Since we last saw each other, I had graduated from college, got married, had kids and moved to the burbs. Vando, on the other had lived in the same house and hung out on the same corners that we did as teenagers. As I gazed into Vando’s dark eyes, the world I worked so hard to forget became real to me again, and I began to see traces of my former self in Vando’s weary face.

Before meeting Vando, books were my escape, taking me to places that transcended the poverty, squalor, and despair that surrounded me. Through my books, I could be an astonaut, detective, or brave knight. But the life Vando introduced me to proved to be more alluring than my pristine fantasies. Our escapades were filled with excitement and danger. We mostly engaged in typical juvenille deliquent activities such as shoplifting, vandalizing, or fighting with other boys. But one day, things took a turn for the worse.

Vando and I were loitering on a corner when he noticed a girl walking by. His demeanor turned grim, his body grew tense. Suddenly, he broke a huge branch from a tree, ran to the girl and started beating her. Tears mixed with blood poured from her face as Vando pummelled her – each blow producing a sickening whap against her flesh.
Afraid Vando would kill the girl, I grabbed the branch causing Vando to glare at me with rabid eyes. I was frightened, but I held on refusing to allow him to beat that girl anymore.

“Let’s get outta here,” he said after several minutes. Vando dropped the branch and we ran to his house narrowly escaping some men who were chasing us.

Once we were safely inside, Vando told his grandmother, “If someone knocks on the door, don’t answer it.” The gentle woman nodded quietly and continued watching television as if she had experienced this situation before. Vando and I ran to his bedroom and crouched in the darkness without uttering a word. We sat for about twenty minutes before we were startled by police officers’ banging on the front door.

“Just chill out,” Vando said coolly. “Don’t say nothin’ and they’ll leave.”
After a few minutes, they did leave. When they were gone, I turned to Vando and asked, “What’s wrong with you man? Why’d you beat up that girl?”
“She lied on me. She got what she deserved.”

I wanted to tell Vando that no one deserved such brutal treatment; that he was a cold, heartless animal. However, I said nothing because I didn’t want Vando to think I was soft.
After that night I avoided Vando as much as possible. Whenever he asked me to hang out with him, I always gave him ane excuse. He eventually got the message and left me alone.

With Vando, I was able to tap into the raw masculinity that boys long for. But I was misguided as many young males are. I thought that Vando was teaching me how to to be a man. All he was teaching me was how to be a criminal. That’s why it is so important for fathers to be involved in their sons’ lives. As much as my mother tried to teach me how to be a man, her gender prevented her lessons from sticking. Sons need fathers.

I realize that my sons will most likely encounter Vandos in their lives.  It is up to me to provide them with an authentic version of manhood so they will not be enticed by this pale imitation. I must teach them to balance their need to be rough, rugged and raw, with the ability to be caring and respectful. My example will be their sword and shield in the battle for their hearts and minds.

I think I may be on the right track. The other night, my 5-year-old son, N, said, “My dad is the best man I know.” If he can still say this 20 years from now, then I know that I will have been successful in my role as a father.


--

Mocha Dad
http://www.mochadad.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/mochadad
CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOG: http://www.makingitlastforever.com

Real Talk: Being Real as a Dad

Continuing in the series "Real Talk" I figured it would only be right when it came to hitting on certain areas of life that I would talk about being real when it comes to being a dad. I guess a lot of people would say that if you are a "real man" as defined by the posts in this series then being a dad would just coem as part of that. However, I do not see this as being entirely true.

To be able to be real in life, I must be real in all areas of my life. I am a dad above all else. My children come first for everything in my life (followed very very VERY closely by my wife). Therefore, it seems logical to have a very stronger will to be real as a dad, above other areas. What does this mean exactly?

My calling, as a dad, is to protect, provide for, and teach my children, to do it to the best of my ability, and to prepare them for the life that lies ahead of them. This also calls for me to be real with myself and with my children at all times. I am here to tell you it's not possible. There are times when my actions or my reactions to situations are out of line, and need a realignment. There are times when my judgement does not reflect the best of my abilities.

This area is under constant construction. Never could I know all the answers all the time all the right times. I want what's best for my children (who doesn't, right?). Eventually they will grow up and one day look back on how they were raised when questioning their own parental abilities. What I do now, will be a reflection of who I am now, to who they are then. Right? My oldest is at the age where imitation is the key to learning how to act, react, and what to say and when. Too many words of anger heard, too many words of anger spoken. Words of love, honesty, firmness, and compassion foster a caring, proper, and honest understanding of life and the cause and effect of actions.

I want my children to know that their father loves them, even when anger is about to boil over, and to be able to recognize that anger, before it boils. I want to be able to speak nothing but honesty and compassion with them, so they may grow up to be kind and understanding. I want my life to be something they can measure me by, and be admired by.

Perhaps they won't grow up the way I want them to. In fact, I can promise they won't. But one thing that can remain a constant through the times we will share together, is that I tried to be real with them and in my raising of them. I promise them to try, to try to be real, to try to be honest, and loving and compassionate, to raise them with the best of my abilities, and to raise them the way being a "real dad" calls me to be.

Feature Friday - 2 Dads and a Mom

Ladies and gentleman, moms and dads, readers of all ages, it is once again Friday. To continue a posting theme I used to write on the old Facebook page, today is FEATURE FRIDAY!!!  Every few Fridays I will post a feature of 3 blogs that I read on a regular basis and a little info about the writers. It has been a while since I have done one and I figured it would be a good way to start off the first friday in June. Traditionally it is a feature of dad blogs but today I will be featuring a mom blog as well. So let's get rocking!!!

First up we have Nucking Futs Mama - A great blog by, you guessed it, @nuckingfutsmama. Mother of 2, husband to Papa Nuckingfuts, and crazy as all get out! Her blog chronicles what it is about life, family and motherhood that will drive a woman to be nucking futs. Featuring her popular "Things I've Learned this Week" weekly post to summarize the week and always reminding herself that "Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle". Give a nice loud DaddyYo Blog round of applause to Nucking Futs Mama!


Next up for your reading pleasure we have A TwistedChristian Dad - Written by none other than @twistedxtian. This nice dad blog shares the journeys of a once SAHD (now working again) through the wonders, excitements, and experiences we all know as dadhood. A husband and dad to one adorable little boy, musician, bow hunter, and studier of Christian theology (check oout his theology blog here), @twistedxtian details his journey through life in this great little piece of the web. Ladies and Gents, I present to you, A TwistedChristian Dad!


And last, but certainly not least, in today's feature, let's bring the house down for Carrying a Cat by the Tail! from @spudsgotstonz. A new comer to my followers and blog list, but definitely worth the shout out. This cat holds down a house full and half with 6 kids, 4 boys and 2 girls, 3 dogs, 4 cats, a turtle, a guinea pig and a partridge in a pear tree (and for his sanity's sake a beer or 6 in the fridge). This great dad blog details all the chaos, good and bad, for all to see. Let's hear it for Carrying a Cat by the Tail!


And there you have it folks. Feature Friday here at The DaddyYo Blog. Seriously, give these people a look. I promise you will not be disappointed. Until next time, have a great weekend and ROCK ON!!!

Blogging with my 3yo

So this morning I have been trying to think of a new post topic ... hold on .....Okay I pushed the blue button and made it black. Where was I? Oh yes, trying to think of a new post topic. It's Monday so ... Yes Caleb I see the bees .... It's mond.... stop touching the laptop and get your finger off the screen .... It's okay I love you.... Monday is a bad day for me to .. Caleb I can't see ... bad day for me  try to write anyway cause the weekend at work has me just stupid in the head come monday morning. nsdihgudnkdgd.. . Caleb I said don't touch it!!! Now there are cheesies all over the screen.

This morning has been particularly challenging as my 3yo son has decided that this morning he would tell me about anything and everything under the sun. From Bee Movie, to "Where's mommy and Marlee?" to I FARTED!! Everything going on in his life this morning is going on in my ears. ... I can't do black Caleb, that button doesn't work anymore. You broke it remember?

I told @NewYorkDad earlier it's one of those moments in dadhood that while slightly irritating, it is just too darn cute. Usually Caleb just wants me to play ball or get him something to eat. Marlee is the daddy's girl and is always wanting my undivided attention. 

So this morning, mom takes sissy out shopping and it's guys day in at the house. Love having guy time with Caleb cause we get to be loud and do guy stuff over the top. Tackling, breaking wind, throwing balls as hard as we can without any regard to anything else in the house, and eating junk food that mommy would usually not allow this close to nap time. 

This morning however he is particularly interested in me almost inexplicably. Wanting to know what I'm doing, am I okay, sad, happy, immune (don't know why he wants to know that). Such a great joy to know that even when it seems like I exist only as a playmate, my son still has great interest in me and wants to learn about what I am always doing. I taught him the word blogging this morning in fact. 

I am always glad for the alone time I get with each child because it's those times that they let me know that I am more than just a waiter, chauffeur, and bathroom attendant. I am their Daddy and they love me for it!  

Thankful Thursday - The Acronym Post

Today is Thankful Thursday here at The DaddyYo Blog. Every Thursday my posts will be about being thankful for people, places, and things in my life. Today, it's family using acronyms!


Marlee


Many smiles and laughs that we have shared
All the joy that you bring to my life
Rocking to music when you are feeling "daddyfied"
Love that can only be shared between dad and daughter
Every day that I have with you
Eternity of always having you in my life to love and cherish

Caleb


Continuous energy that reminds me to sometimes just be a child myself
All the good times and bad times that have made our bond stronger and helped me be a better dad
Lots and lots of sugies and noseys
Every time we have danced or just lounged around on the couch.
Bringing joy to my life since the day you were born.

April


All the memories we have and the ones we will continue to make.
Perseverance through the toughest of trials that have only made our love grow stronger.
Road trips where we miss our destination, but it doesn't matter because we are together.
Immeasurable love I feel every time I look into your eyes
Loving me despite my flaws








**Photos by Pretty Please Photography. Thanks for the fun session we had and the awesome pics!**

Following the Footsteps

"Baby, there's something I need to tell you."
"What is it honey? Everything okay?"
"I'm pregnant"
*long pause*
"Honey are you okay?"


Yes, if you have children then you know that feeling that you get during the *long pause* part of that conversation. Many feelings, in fact, come along with it: fear, anxiety, joy, gratefulness, and the very common brain fart that follows when trying to find the right words to answer back with.

Being a new father is definitely one of the most confusing, trying, and at the same time, joyous and awe inspiring times in ones life.It can be more so when you are on the younger end of the age spectrum as well when the news of a new baby is announced to you. But for new fathers, younger and older alike, there is good news: There are plenty of dads who have come before, and plenty of dads going through the same emotional ride. You are not alone.



I have always felt blessed to have such great examples of what it truly means to be a dad in my life. My great grandfather, both my mom's dad and dad's dad, and of course my father , have all been such inspiration when it comes to what it means to be a daddy. Jim, Bo, and Hermann are no longer with us anymore, but the memories of these men and what they did for their families will always live on with me, and my father who I know I can always turn to when I'm stuck, or feeling inadequate as a father. They have all lived their lives for their families, and have been examples of what it means to be a dad to many.

I was 24 when my son was born, and becoming a dad was very exciting, yet scary to me. I found myself in a tornado of emotions. From happy and excited, to scared out of my pants. I questioned myself (as I still often do) about how good of a dad I would be. Would my children grow up to love me? Will they think I am a good father? How will I know what they need when they need it and know how to take care of them? Many, many questions raced through my mind both times my wife made the announcement of being pregnant. I think we all have questioned ourselves as dads, and many of us still do.

This day and age, we are now blessed with things like Twitter, Facebook, and, for new dads and nervous dads, Dad-Blogs galore! I have really enjoyed the connections with other dads online and have learned much from reading other dad blogs. There is a wealth of information to be found online, as well as the content to be found in knowing that you are never alone.

As dads the world (and web) over seek to redefine the roll of the Dad and become more engaged in the lives of their children, it is awesome to know that for new and for younger dads, there are people out there who can tell you "I've been there" and "I know exactly what you are going through". I have found that generally, I am 7 to 15 years younger than the majority of other dad and dad-bloggers I talk to online. It is great to know that I can read their past blog posts, or just chat them up and learn from their experience and knowledge. It's a great outlet for all new and young fathers alike when the feelings become too much, and you feel like losing it.

So young and new dads learn this: You are NEVER alone in your fears and anxieties. There are dads who have come before us. There are our own dads, granddads, and dads online that have a wealth of experience and knowledge to share. There are footsteps to follow so you will never be on a path untraveled. And as we grow older, and our children start to go through the same things, we can live our lives as examples to them, so that they too, will not be alone.

**Original Picture (before edit and border) by Pretty Please Photography. Thanks for the awesome pictures and the fun time that we had!**

Time for Change - Revolution of Soul (goals)

Revolution without goals is nothing short of complete chaos.

It's all great to sit around and talk of revolution and evolution and becoming better people, but it has no basis without goals. Whether it's personal goals, family goals, marital goals, and so on, without a goal, there is no point in trying to better ourselves.

So how does this relate to the Dad Revolution and the Revolution of Soul? Well, we are wanting to change the way the world views fathers, and we are in the process wanting to better ourselves and our own roles as fathers. To do this, we must know what it is we want to achieve. Where are we wanting our lives to go and what direction are we wanting to take our fatherhood roles in? What exactly are we hoping to achieve when all is said and done and the history has been written?


There have been many goals that I have set for myself during my life, and in total honestly, I have failed at reaching the majority of them. However, none have seemed as important to me as becoming a more engaged and involved father. So I sit here, thinking while I type, what exactly do I want to accomplish? Who is this father that I want to become?  How is he me evolved? and more important, how am I going to get there?

It all starts with setting realistic goals. I know I won't instantly wake up and be "father of the year" and loved the world over by parenting experts. And honestly, I don't think I will ever become my mind's model of "the perfect father". But there are some ways I KNOW I can better myself, and it will take setting the right goals and taking the right steps to get there.

Life is not easy, and as my mom has always told me, pipe dreams are under the bed. Setting small, realistic goals, instead of the big picture goal, will help us ensure that we transform ourselves and transcend the typical "TVDad" image. Revolution and evolution of self cannot be obtained from simply wishing.

Set goals for yourself. Think about what steps you will need to take to reach these goals. Talk to your family members, friends, blog followers, whoever you feel comfortable with, and get support as you take these steps. Remember why you are doing this in the first place, set your eyes forward, don't look down and don't look back.

and of course, KEEP ROCKIN!

Time for Change - Revolution of Soul (What the revolution means personally)

Revolution has many different meanings. One meaning taken from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary is "a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something". Very well put as it relates to the dad revolution that is sweeping into the dad-blog world. A change in the way of thinking about something. This dad revolution is about changing the way fathers are viewed and they way we are thought of by mainstream society. But the revolution, to me, is defined in so many ways. So as it relates to this series of posts, this is how I view it.
I want to become the best father that I can be. And I can honestly admit that I m not that father right now. (and it may be possible I never will be). But in order to become a better father, there are parts of my life that have to change. I have to "revolt" against different ideas, beliefs, habits, and thoughts and become firm in who it is I want to become as a father.

A recent post,  @Wrath66** talks about like this "I don’t know that I feel the need to revolt so much as evolve. As I’ve thought about becoming a father over the past eight months, I’ve consistently thought of it in terms more evolutionary than revolutionary". I have thought on it all morning this morning and it has, in some ways, reshaped my views on what is going on. I mentioned to him later on that I can see it as the need to "revolt" against the me I am now in order to "evolve" into the father I desire to be.

When most people think of the word "revolution" they associate it with politics, violence, changes in power or social structure. As it relates to the Dad Revolution, it means changing the view the world in general has of the rolls of a father and the father's way of thinking about his own roll. Revolution has to start in the heart and soul. You cannot expect the world (or your closest circle of friends for that matter) to believe in what you are saying and doing if you cannot believe in it yourself.

In the sense of "evolution", the Dad Revolution not only calls for a change in the way others view us as fathers, but it challenges us to evolve in our fatherhood to be so much more than how we are viewed. For myself, it means growing in to a father of integrity. A father of equal importance in his childrens' lives as his female counterpart. To become a more engaged and involved father, no matter how it is seen to everyone else. 

In order for all this to be achieved, no matter what you want to call the movement going on, we must decide in our hearts that we want to be the best father we can be, and we will no longer let other areas of our lives, or views of the world, stand in our way of becoming this "new and improved" daddy. We must believe in our hearts the words we write and speak. We must decide in our minds that this is what we want, and nothing, not even our current selves, is going to keep us from becoming a better father, and the kind of father we desire to be. We must be able to stand up, with absolute conviction, and say "Today, I make the decision that I will be more than the father I have been. And the world will see this and wake up to the new roll fathers all over the world are taking on". 

The revolution must start in the heart, it must be personal and real. It must be more than a social movement, it must be a personal movement as well. Without our hearts being at the forefront, we have no leg to stand on. Fathers of the Dad Revolution, let us be in this with our hearts and souls. Let us not only revolt, but evolve personally and let the world not only see that we are not the fathers portrayed, but we are not, personally, the fathers we were before.

Thanks for your time, and as always, KEEP ROCKIN!!!

**Take a few minutes to check out the blog from @Wrath66. A lot of good stuff going on there. Check it out! Thanks man for letting me cite you in this post and for the thought provoking post on your blog. Keep ROCKIN!**

Time for change - Revolution of the Soul (the introduction)

A lot of ROCKIN stuff has been taking place in the world of the daddy blogger and it has everyone fired up. As well they should be. With the upcoming Modern Media Man Summit in Atlanta this September and the launch of the Dad Revolution site, there is plenty to be fired up about. I myself am pretty stoked to see these come about and I throw my full support behind both.

So I started thinking about what it means to me to "revolutionize" my fatherhood and what it says of me to say that I am one to support all this. I am all for seeing the typical "TVDad" model of fatherhood smashed into a thousand pieces in the street and run over by every child who owns a tricycle. I think it's great to see so many dads and dad bloggers standing up to say that we are engaged fathers who take great joy in the role we have in life and in the fact we can hold up just as well (or almost as well) as our counterparts.

Then I dug really deep and realized : This is not just about revolutionizing the way fatherhood and fathers are viewed, but this is the perfect opportunity for us to revolutionize ourselves. It's a great time to take inventory of our lives, our hopes, our goals, our standards and beliefs. Time to take the revolution truly to the heart and soul and not only carry the torch of the "face of fatherhood" but to challenge ourselves to be the best we can be, not just as fathers, but as human beings.

In the next few posts I will discuss different ways in which we can revolutionize our souls, as well as the image of fatherhood, and will open myself to you and share the revolution that is taking place in my own life. We all want to be the best fathers we can, but it is my belief that revolution has to happen in the heart and the soul, before it can become the wildfire of change in society.

Thanks for your time and as always, KEEP ROCKIN!