Blessed

It is late at night and I am still awake. Outside it is snowing, windy, and the cold is just brutal. I am inside, under the covers with the heat on, and posting from my phone.
I have been reviewing the day in my mind. What went wrong, who I was mad at. How was I as a dad today? Was I loving or did I fail to show love? Then I started thinking about how much worse things could be.
How blessed I am for what I have. How blessed I am that despite the bad, the good is prevailing. How foolish I am to have lost sight of all that is good and precious.
Tomorrow as the snow continues and the bitter cold remains, I will hug my children. I will show them my love and what they mean to me. I will kiss my wife and let her know my heart is still hers. I will let my family know that we are strong and we are blessed. I will not let the bad rule my thoughts. I am blessed and tomorrow I will live in the blessings that have been given to me.

Holiday Shopping on the Cheap

If you are like us, and like many many families worldwide, holiday shopping can make one’s brain hurt when it comes to thinking about the monetary aspect of it all. We are not a family that dwells too much on how much money each child is worth in Christmas presents. We do try to get them the same amount of items. When it comes to money though, we just set a limit on how much we spend all the way around.

This year I think The Wifey and I did the best we have ever done in our three years of holiday shopping for the kids. Each year the lists grows a little more and the budget does too. Almost every year we go over our budget and kick ourselves when bills are due. This year however we were able to get it done with the quickness and under budget.

A few quick tips for those on a tight budget this year. We live primarily paycheck to paycheck. Factoring bills as soon as I see a pay statement (usually 2 days before being paid). We know how much we will have leftover even after factoring out money for eating out. We squeeze it really tight sometimes, and over the last few years we have figured out how to accomplish everything at smaller cost.

Always figure out where the sale is. Sometimes the extra 10 minute drive will save you 10 dollars or more. If you are really looking, you can find huge savings in places you would never think of.

Settle for the next best thing. “Wow Dude that leather jacket is pretty stylin. Where did you get it?” My reply: “It is actually fake leather and it is from K-Mart. But thanks man!” I am a man of little shame and if I can get a look alike product at Wal-Mart for $20 less I will because that is $20 dollars towards something else. Quality doesn’t always have to be expensive. Take name brands off of the list and look for a quality bargain.

Big mistake for us around the holiday shopping season is thinking we haven’t bought The Kiddos enough stuff. Now, a lot of people would take this time to talk about how it is not about the amount of stuff. My children are 3 and 1 and to a certain extent, yes it is. HOWEVER: I also know that the more I get them, the more toys pile up in the basket not played with. Plus, there are other people buying for my children. Stick to just a few items that will be their favorites (my kids are easy to read) and don’t worry about the hundred extra items.

Finally: Don’t sweat it so much. Tis the season for laughter and joy. Not anxiety over money and frugality. It can be achieved with a little effort and a little cheer. Facing it with the attitude that no matter how tight you have to be, the joy that it will bring is well worth it, and not worth the brain freeze.

With all that in mind get out there and hit the stores! Have fun and be full of joy. The season is one of happiness and good tidings. Don’t let life drag you down! And a friendly reminder that there are only 18 shopping days left until Christmas (better get a move on)

Craft Time with The Dude: Decorative Christmas Strands

There are all kinds of fun activities you can do with you children that are entertaining, fun, and even educational. Making a craft has become a great time for me and The Kiddos on our Tuesday nights together. From the cup phones to the cardboard robot helmet, we have enjoyed making things and having that time to bond.

I have for you today a fun activity for you and your children while decorating for Christmas. I did not actually do this one with the kids, but after I had done it, I realized it would be a good craft time project. They are decorative Christmas strands that you could hang up anywhere you wanted. On the tree, above the doorways, even in the window for others to see as they pass by.

 

Here is what you will need:

• Beading line or fishing line
• Decorative ornaments. For more fun let your kids pick out which ones they want to use.  (the ones pictured were purchased at Wal-Mart)
• Scissors (the safest you can find for your children to be around. or the easiest to hide from them if they are like my two youngins)
• Scotch Tape (optional)

This is what you do:

1. Measure out how much beading line or fishing line you need. Leave a few inches extra on the ends.
2. Tie a loop into one end of the strand.
3. Select which ornaments you and the children would like to use. I alternated patterns in the ones above our doorways. To make it more fun let the kids pick out which ones to use.
4. Slip the untied end of the beading line or fishing line through the ornaments until all of them are strung.
5. Tie a loop in the end of the line.

 

That’s it! That is all there is to it! Now decide where you and the kids would like to display them and let them hang! We used scotch tape to help secure the line to the wall to support the weight of the ornaments.

Hope you get a chance to try this and have

Fatherly Fears: This is Real Talk

I’m going to cut straight to the case with this one. I about lost my shenanigans when I thought about this tonight. The Wifey and I were watching “Look Who’s Talking Too” after hanging Christmas decorations. Towards the end of the movie there is a scene that made my mind start racing. Two children, about the same age difference as The Kiddos and with Little Man being the older of the two. They are in the apartment, alone, and it is on fire.

I immediately asked my wife what she thought our son and daughter would do. Would Little Man just flip out, sit down and cry? Would Little Girl sense there was danger or would it be something new and interesting? Is it possible Little Man would realize something is wrong and try to open the door and get them out?

My heart was racing, my eyes were filling with tears when I thought about the horror of that situation. What would they do? As my wife and I discussed further we determined one thing: Our kids will never, ever, EVER EVER EVER, be alone in our house. I am sure at some point they will reach a maturity level and build a trust I can believe in to be left alone.  But I think that is a level that my wife and I will decide upon and talk to them about before the decision is made.

I just felt like I needed to write this because I know I am not the only parent who has ever just totally tripped out on thinking about stuff like this. And in some ways, I think it is good that I thought about it. It is good to be fearful of some things. Not to the point of over protection and stifling our children’s right to grow up as an individual. It is good to the point that it lets you know that your love for them is real.

I quickly felt how real my love for The Kiddos is and how deeply sorrowful I would be if something like that should ever happen. It was good for me to feel that fear, and grow stronger in my strength and determination to protect and educate my children. When you can know that there is no limit to that love, it is an empowering feeling. It is what all the hours of screaming, late night feedings, and trips to the doctor are all about. It is what dreams are made of, only you are awake.

It is the power of love, from parent to child.

Tis the Season: Giving Back

It is always nice to see a community give back and people give back to their community. In a lot of ways it is sad that you see this more around the holidays and less the rest of the year, but seeing others selflessly give to someone in need is always inspiring.

This year I have heard all kinds of stories of churches, businesses, and individuals who are sponsoring families and children and making the holiday season a dream come true for many. It is the greatest example of what this time of year is all about. It is an image of selflessness we should all strive for, year round.

There are also many schools that are taking lists from families in need and gathering the items on the list to help make the holidays a great one. There are many many families struggling these days. This time of year can be especially hard on families who are still struggling after layoffs or the loss of loved ones. It is the time of year to put a little cheer back into someone else’s life.

I have had it done for me. Not ashamed to say it. I am here to let you know that it was a humbling and uplifting experience. When I can, I give back, because I know what it feels like. And it is indescribable.

Remember this holiday season, that there are always less fortunate than ourselves. Let’s all do our part to give back to those in our community. Let the season be filled with holiday cheer for everyone this year. Tis the season for giving!

Guest Post: My Daughter Will Redefine Girly

Being the dad of a daughter is going to be tough when Little Girl starts getting older. I know she will be bombarded by images and messages of what she should look like, dress like and act like. I make it my fight to make sure she knows that she is beautiful and powerful, just the way she is.

Today it is my pleasure to introduce you to Melissa. Melissa Wardy is a mother of two who owns and operates Pigtail Pals – Redefine Girly, an online store and media literacy blog that aims to change the way we look at girlhood. Our empowering products show girls they may be smart, daring, and adventurous. Melissa is hanging out with me today to talk a little bit about her own daughter, and redefining girly. So without further delay, here is Melissa in her own words!

When my daughter was born and I would spend the day holding her and dream about catching lightening bugs, teaching her to ride a bike and kick a soccer ball, reading “Little House On The Prairie”, and flying kites. A childhood fit for a Norman Rockwell piece for the Saturday Evening Post.

When my tiny girl was a few weeks old, I needed to restock on diapers so I ventured out to Target, running my first official errand as a mom. I came home mystified. My eyes were glazed over from pink pegboard and walls of plastic dolls that looked like sex workers and tulle and tiaras and slogans on every shirt that read “I love being the Princess” and “Daddy’s Princess” and “Sweet as Candy” and “Angel” and “Sassy, sometimes Sweet” and “Future Shopaholic”. The excess of tiaras and rhinestones had done me in. And why were girls being objectified into sweet candy? Gross.

This was girlhood? This was how I was supposed to raise my daughter? With these kinds of messages? And why was everything pink? I couldn’t understand it, and thought perhaps my post pregnancy hormones had made me time travel. You know, to 1950.

A few months later I was at a playgroup with my daughter and one of the mothers asked when I would introduce her to the Disney Princesses and Barbie. I suggested that maybe I wouldn’t, or at least I was in no rush to, because I didn’t think they were good role models for girls. The other mothers stared or laughed at me, as if I was from outer space. I explained I wasn’t about to raise my girl to wish upon a star and wait for

her prince. I’d rather teach her to get into a rocket ship and reach that star for herself. I wanted that message on infant girl clothing, but couldn’t find it. At least, I couldn’t find it on the “girl side” of the aisle.

Then I had one of those A ha! moments – why wasn’t anyone making clothes like that for girls? I scooped up my baby, raced home, and I filled page after page with ideas and drawings and plans…..for what would become my company Pigtail Pals.

I don’t see childhood as having a boy side and a girl side. I see childhood as a time for brightly colored, unstructured play fueled by powerful imaginations and the understanding all young children seem to have that the world is their oyster.

I have worked diligently to keep our home media literate, gender neutral with toys, and full of playthings that are open ended. My husband and I try to keep gender stereotypes and sexualization out of our home. I certainly will not be teaching my daughter, who was named after Amelia Earhart, to sit quietly and be pretty. I flatly refuse to teach her that her beauty is her worth.

I believe girls deserve better. I believe we need to change the way we think about our girls. I think girls should be allowed to dream in every color. I think girls should have the freedom to imagine growing up to be a doctor, a race car driver, a pilot, or an astronaut. Or a pirate or knight or dinosaur tamer. Today’s girls are being raised by a generation of women that is the most well educated, most well traveled, most liberated

to ever have walked the earth. But you wouldn’t know it after an afternoon of shopping. Today’s girls are being raised by a generation of men who are hands-on and emotionally intelligent and who now more than ever understand the special role of being a father to a girl.

I raise my girl to be smart, daring, and adventurous. I don’t think those things belong on the “boy side” of the aisle. I simply think they belong right in the middle of childhood.