I'll Be Home for Christmas

This year I am super excited that we will be spending Christmas at my parent's house. It will be my first Christmas in that house in 6 years.  The year before I moved I had to work and missed the usual family activities. We will be going to spend time with my two grandmothers and other extended family as well. Typically we only make it there once a year. This holiday we were blessed with the finances for me to take that week off from work and head on down there.

As the trip draws near I think about all of the memories I have growing up in that house during the holidays. The anxious Christmas Eves after church service and actually looking forward to bedtime so Christmas morning would get there fast. The nights drawing the slips from the Advent calendar that now hangs in my living room this holiday season. The nativity scene on the entertainment center and the old Christmas candles my parents got the year that they were married. Those candles are now 33 years old and still holding strong just like the couple who bought them. The yearly Christmas parties we had when we were young and going caroling through the neighborhood were always activities to be on the look out for.

I remember sneaking in to the living room to see what I had gotten, and the time I got caught after knocking my first guitar over. The next year I found my parents sleeping on the floor to ward me off! I remember the year that "Santa" hid the presents and when I went sneaking in there were no presents. I thought that Christmas was not going to happen. Oh me of little faith.  There are just so many memories from when I was growing up. Our home around the holidays was magical, it was enchanting, and it was full of love.

My mom and dad always made sure we knew the true reasons for this festive season and what it was really about to us being raised in a Christian home. Sure we were a little disappointed when we didn't get what we hoped for, but we quickly overcame that. We knew we were blessed for everything we got, no matter what it was. We delighted in family and treasured the moments spent with friends at Christmas parties. We gathered with both my mom and dad's sides of the family and shared in the fellowship of giving and family tradition. These are the kinds of memories that are running through my mind this holiday season.

This year I will be home for Christmas. A lot of things have changed in 6 years. We will be missing my two grandfathers during our visit. I am sure their memories and stories will be shared as we reflect on Christmas times past. Some things will remain the same though. Christmas day we will watch as the wrapping paper flies and the kids faces light up. We will visit family and enjoy the fellowship of love. We will all be together for the first time in 6 years. Mom and Dad, I will be home for Christmas this year. Sure there are a few additions, but family is what it is all about. 10 days and counting. We cannot wait!

In Honor of Grandaddy

Your warm smile and tender heart were open arms to us all. Your laugh and your amazing timing with a joke were a warming touch to a family gathering. You are a beloved husband, a respected dad, and an unforgettable Granddaddy.

Six years ago you left this Earth, to go home to your Father above. For six years I have shared stories of our times together. Playing Chinese Checkers, reading our bibles at night, and playing with potato chips during lunch. You were ready for us when sissy and I would spend the night. Up in the morning with the news on and the paper. We waited for Grandmama to make those delicious waffles, and breakfast was soon on the table.

You always kept us laughing and smiling. You knew how to capture us with a story and have us hanging on every word. From our trips to the Chinese restaurant and Putt-Putt, to the grocery store and Sunday school, I remember all of those times.

I remember your love and your kindness. I remember your sense of family and leadership. I remember you running next to the car as we would be pulling out of the driveway, tapping on the window and laughing with the force of a gale storm.

Grandaddy, we miss you. You are always in our minds and in our hearts. I see you in my own children now. In my son's smile, my daughter's laugh (and of course the Scroggs ears). I love you still and today I will remember you. I will remember your service to your country, and more importantly, to your family. I will remember all of the things you taught me, and I will do my best to honor those teachings. And I will remember your smile and your laugh. I will celebrate your life and what you meant to each and every one of us. And I will thank you for leaving behind a memory so full of life. I will cherish those memories always.

In Loving Memory of Hermann Marshall Scroggs (Grandaddy)

Social Media: A Family Connected

Okay, I am going to do something a little out of the norm for The DaddyYo Blog and talk about something today that isn't strictly fatherhood related. Normally I would do so on my other blog but seeing as how this is about family and staying connected, I felt that it would fit right here. Let me back up a little and lead in to this post a bit.

As you may, or may not know, I met The Wifey online in January 2005. Three months later I would leave the place I grew up for 22 years for a place I never even looked at on a map. When I moved up here I was able to call back home and talk to my family on a regular basis. Then I got introduced to Facebook and was able to connect with all my family there. 

Fast forward 5 years. I have now been married for 4 years, and I have been a dad for three. Through Facebook, Twitter, and the blog, I have been able to stay connected with my family members and share what is going on in our lives through social media. My mom, dad, and my sister are all on Twitter and we talk to each other there all the time. Yesterday, we used it and shared in watching the Macy's Parade together that way. 300 miles apart from them now, and thanks to social media, we were still able to share in a long running family tradition. I was posting about The Kiddos going nuts when new balloons were shown, my sister was talking about watching it with her daughter, and my parents were enjoying knowing what the grandkids were thinking about the parade.

My mom posted to us that it was great that though we were that far apart, we were all enjoying the same thing, and sharing in the moments. That's what family tradition is all about. The ability to stay connected outside of the normal phone call and text message really adds another fun aspect to being a connected family, and brings more fun to the table. I know this much is true: My family is pretty tech savvy, and we all get involved. I am grateful that my family reads my blog and is very supportive of what I do. Social media will grow by leaps and bounds. There will be new platforms and new outlets of getting information out. And through it all, my family will stay connected, and our tradition of love and fellowship will continue, no matter the miles in between.

Always Remember: Heroes from our Past

Left to Right: Me, My Dad, Grandpa

"So come on rally round this brave and valiant cause with tradition, pride, and honor at its core.
With swords drawn to defend stood these noble-hearted men fág an bealach,
clear the way, me boys!!"

100 years ago, on the 18th of September, a hero was born. You may have never heard of him, and I guarantee most of you have not, but to me, to my family, his honor, his legacy, and his spirit live on. Born James Rufus Taylor, but better known to me as "Grandpa". I dedicate this post in his memory, to his honor, and in remembrance of a great man, a great dad, and a hero.

Selflessness is not Natural

Let me open this post with a little history behind it's origin. It is Sunday night, I just got off from work and settled in for the night. The Wifey is working on learning definitions for her medical terminology class, the kiddos are in bed, and I am  at the computer, on Twitter, sitting here trying to write a post for Monday. Enter the brain fart. I sit here, and sit here, and sit here ...  bueller ....... bueller .............. bueller ... You get the picture. I cannot get anything to flow from my brain, to my fingers, to the keys on my laptop. Nothing!

So I throw out into the Twitterverse: "Quick, throw some words at me to write a short post about for tomorrow ... ready .... GO!". Now enter: Renee (@theblondeview)*  with the answer to my call for desperate inspiration. One word stuck out at me immediately: SELFLESSNESS ... It is a subject that I have been struggling with recently and trying to grasp a better concept of. 

The Wifey just started classes this fall. The study load is pretty heavy and the subjects are getting tougher. The study time required plus the time required to get all the other chores to be done makes for a demanding schedule. The SAHM of our two little kiddos and full time student stays busy, tired, and in need of my support (and sometimes a study buddy). My work schedule bounces between morning shift and night shift and makes a grand challenge for steady sleep habits that even Hercules can't beat. I try to take more of the parental obligations off of her the times that I am home, though I admit I struggle with it at times. 

Just this morning, I was thinking about my attitudes and the amount of heart I am putting behind the support I give to my wife. Am I doing it because I want to? Or because I HAVE to? Am I offering it with all my heart, or am I using some kind of hidden agenda? With all that we have going on right now, am I giving my whole heart into everything I do especially, when it comes to my wife and my children?

Selflessness is not natural. It is not a trait that we are born into that just pours out. Selflessness takes work, conditioning of the heart, the mind, and the soul. It is a trait I strive for. A trait, I admit, I do not always have, and probably should have more often. My wife is doing something amazing! She has taken the challenge upon herself, to go back to school, get a degree, and a great job, all to help benefit the well being of our family. I do support her, I am behind her, and wish her the best of luck and success with this new adventure of life. I know it has to be hard for her to balance studying, dishes, laundry, bedtime, bath time, naptime, off to school, home from school, groceries, and finally dealing with me being a turd half the time. That's a lot to deal with!

For me, the struggle has been being more willing to jump right up and do whatever needs to be done, no matter how tired, no matter how hungry, no matter how smelly I am, to just get up and do it. No questions, no whining (we hear enough of that from the kids), no thinking about myself. Being selfless and providing the real, loving, and committed support she needs.

It will take work, dedication, self empowerment, and faith. It will not be easy at all times, but nor will it be half hearted. I am committed to being the man my wife, my children, and my friends need me to be. I know the road is tough sometimes, and I am tired, hungry, weary, in need of self time, and those times will be my greatest challenge, but I will try my best to overlook myself, be the selfless man, and do what needs to be done. It is what I am called to do.


*Sidenote: Check out Renee's blog at http://theblondeview.blogspot.com

The Music that Defines My Heart

"Don't you know you are my everything. And don't you know you make my heart sing. You've turned my world inside out. Now I know what life is all about. And it's you that I can't live without ..."
-Stretch Arm Strong "For Now" - from the album "Rituals of Life"

*Note* - The above lyrics are a little out of context of the rest of the song, but looking at the quotation above, those exact words, are my exact thoughts when it comes to my children and family, put to ROCKING music.

Today I am following (to a degree) a format of a series of posts seen recently on the blog of @JRReedradio ... Sex and the Single Dad, about music that defines his life. Stretch Arm Strong, as a band, the lyrics, the music, have always had a very profound impact on me. From the time I first listened to them, until right now as I listen to them while I write this. From the first time I saw them live, to the last, just before I moved to Virginia, they have had so much of an impact on my life, more than the members will ever know.

I was listening as I was thinking about topics for upcoming posts, and the above quote came out of my tiny laptop speakers, and just echoed through my mind as I sat and thought about my children. Those words, those exact words, that exact quote, is the written example of everything my children are to me, and the impact they have had on my life.

Guest Post: Eric (@BetterHusbands) "Being The Best Husband You Can Be"

Men typically have two important roles in their life.  These roles are so intertwined that you can hardly tell where one ends and the other begins.  Also, success in one is largely dependent on success in the other. Of course I am talking about roles of Husband and Father.

Over at my blog, Better Husbands and Fathers, I write about both roles, their relationship to each other, and how to be better at each of them.  So, naturally when John asked me to write on what it means to me to be the “best husband” I can be, I was excited - Here’s my simple answer: Effort.  You see, there is a reason why I didn’t name my blog “Great Husbands and Fathers” or “Perfect Husbands and Fathers.”  This is because the key to being the best husband you can be is in the process of trying to be better, in other words, it’s the mentality of continuous improvement. The word “better” implies a never-ending process, and that’s exactly what it is. If you think you are already the best husband you can be, you need to try harder!

There are, however, some specific things that you can do (or areas where you should focus this effort):

I'm Scared and Need a Hug (or a diaper)

So while I was washing dishes this morning I was doing some thinking. Dish washing is a great time to think. I do a lot of pondering and sel searching when I am washing dishes at work late at night. This morning I was thinking about a comment I received on the new blog design about the picture of me in the header. @babypodesigns  told me it looked like I was looking or the future.  Maybe not so much in the picture, but I was looking at it and thinking about it while washing the dishes this morning.

A lot of people look forward to the fall. The air starts to cool down, the days get a little shorter, and the mountains are a canvas of red, yellow and orange. The smell in the air leaves the senses teased with the anticipation of the upcoming fall and winter holidays. For me, this fall brings changes, and in a way, a whole new life. The Wifey is going back to school starting this fall, majoring in Pharmacy Tech, my son will start the Head Start preschool program right next door to us, and I am stepping in to a new role at work as a part time manager. It is a very exciting time for us, but it is also so very scary. So let's break it down as to why each new adventure scares the crap out of me.

Real Talk: Taking a Deeper Look Inside (Final Post for this Series)

I have been posting in the "Real Talk" series for a couple of weeks now, talking about what it means to be a "real man" in different areas of our life. The feedback has been great and I have been learning a lot about myself as well while writing this series.

But today, it is time to stop, and take a look at my life, and evaluate where I am at in my quest to become more real. It's time to look at where I am, and where I want to go, and what I have to do to get there.  This will be the last post in the series for a little while and the series will be moved to new hosting over at Real Authentic Men. So, sit down with me, let me lie on your couch, and take a look inside.

Real Talk: Guest Post by TheJackB

So my friend John asked me to write a post about what it means to be a real man and presto changeo, I have the following thoughts to share with you. But before I begin allow me to share some of the lyrics from the song I am listening to:

Do you really think I care,
What you read or what you wear,
I want you to join together with the band,
There's a million ways to laugh,
And every one's a path,
Come on and join together with the band.

Everybody join together, I want you to join together,
Come on and join together with the band,
We need you to join together, come on and join together,
Come on and join together with the band.

You don't have to play,
You can follow or lead the way,
I want you to join together with the band,
We don't know where we're going,
But the season's right for knowing,
I want you to join together with the band.

It's the singer not the song,
That makes the music move along,
I want you to join together with the band,
This is the biggest band you'll find,
It's as deep as it is wide,
Come on and join together with the band,
Hey hey hey hey hey hey, well everybody come on.

Join Together- The Who

I suppose that I could write it off as a coincidence that this started playing now. Could say that it is just part of the iTunes shuffle but I won’t. I won’t because it is appropriate and pertinent to this discussion.

A real man understands that there is a time and place for being part of a community or an individual. He recognizes that there are moments when he must go off by himself and follow his heart and that some times obligations/responsibilities must come ahead of that.

A real man understands that his role within the family unit is to provide for his family.  What is important to remember is that the most critical thing that a real man can provide for his family is emotional stability and then financial.

Now these are concepts and ideas that are not written in stone and are subjective in nature. But that is ok because when you deal with people and these sorts of things there is no single formula to follow, no one way to do things.

Family life is fluid and dynamic. Things are always changing. Children grow, parents age and relationships build, develop and dissolve. So a real man figures out how to adapt and overcome the challenges that are presented.

A real man accepts responsibility for the good and the bad. You hold yourself accountable because when the lights go out and you are alone with your thoughts it is always clear whether you met or failed to meet the mark you set.

In my mind a real mind is active in the world around him. He gives back to his community and tries to make the world a better place. These are not platitudes or things to be said for the purpose of making one look better.

Of course you could do so. You can always find a way to present a front to others, but you can never truly fool yourself. So when I sit down and think about whether I meet the mark, whether I fit the description of a real man I think…sort of.

Still working, still growing and hopeful that one day I get it right. But that is the good news, the real man always has another day. Another day to try to do it all again, to be better. Because a real man can’t accept just giving up.

Better to fail trying than to not try at all.

By: @TheJackB

Jack Be Nimble

Real Talk: What it Means to be a "Real Man"

After some great conversations with some equally great men, I have decided to start a series of posts about being a "real man". Along the way I will be posting about different areas in my life that I am trying to be more real in and will also feature guest posts from other guys about what it means to them to be a "real man".

Let me start with this disclaimer: This is not a post about machismo attitudes or sheer brute strength and the ability to have any woman you want. Nothing about those things mean being a "real man" to me. So if you are looking for posts about the ability to lift a VW Beetle by myself, or the number of girls that think I'm the bomb, then  Google it, and look there. This is about much more personal and deeper meaning of the term "real man".

I'm not perfect. I am very far from it. I am not always the greatest husband and the greatest father, greatest brother and greatest son. I can try though. And I can try my best to be real in every aspect of my life. What does it mean, though, to be a "real man"?

To me, it means being the man you are called to be. Being the man your family needs you to be. I can admit that I have not always been that man. Nobody is perfect, so it is to be expected that no man can ever be exactly the man they need to be or want to be. And it is a goal I don't think can ever really be met, but can always be strived for. We all want the best out of life, and want the best for our families. In this regard we are called to be real, to be honest and open in our lives. We are called to lay aside the worldy view of men for a more personal view of the men we are individualy and personally.

As life moves on and changes us, also we must change with life. As life has carried me to the point I am at, I have been able to take note of the ever changing world, and my ever changing self. As of recently, being more of a "real man" and being more active in the lives of my children, and more active in my role as a husband, has been on the forefront of my mind. Growing up has its challenges, and these are just two of them. As a working man, it is not easy to always know everything about my children, but I try. I try to spend good, quality time with them when I am home, and I have learned to value the time I have with them. As for marriage, I am not even going to pretend I can give any direction to anyone about it. Everyone's relationships are different, and is just another area that challenges us. Being more open, and honest, caring and understanding ... the true challenge of becoming a "real man".

I have thought about this more and more recently after some great conversations with other men who try their best to be real in their lives, and be honest and open with everyone they come in contact with. I find that the more I am honest  and open the better I feel about myself, and the better connected I can be with my wife, my coworkers, friends, and family.

Being a real man is not about strength, sexuality, knowledge of sports, or knowledge of beer. It is not about how many women you can pick up, or how many shots you take before you are completely sloshed. It is about being honest. Being open, and unafraid to wear your emotions and feelings and thoughts on your sleeve for the world to see.

Throughout this series, you will see guest posts from men who strive to be real, and what being a "real man" means to them. Men: The world is constantly changing and so are we. The call has been placed for all men to lay aside boyish dreams and ideas of masculine dominance, and to be more real. Time to show the world that there are men who are honest, unashamed to show their flaws, and not afraid to let their emotions out. There are men who want to be real.

*if you feel you have something you can add to this series, or want to share what beign a real man means to you, please feel free to e-mail me at thedaddyyoblog@gmail.com and I will be happy to talk with you*

Wordless Wednesday - A Look Through Time in the Lives of my Kiddos

Love of Children

Nothing demonstrates real love for another person as the love of a child for his/her sibling. I can see it in my kiddos eyes everyday, and it makes me take the time to think: when is it we lose the ability to love someone in that capacity?

Caleb and Marlee's love for each other is so firm and so real. The way she looks at him in adoration and the way he looks at her in amazement. I always stand back in awe of the way these two have made their love for each other so transparent and powerful. The love of a child is like none other. 

Thankful Thursday - The Acronym Post

Today is Thankful Thursday here at The DaddyYo Blog. Every Thursday my posts will be about being thankful for people, places, and things in my life. Today, it's family using acronyms!


Marlee


Many smiles and laughs that we have shared
All the joy that you bring to my life
Rocking to music when you are feeling "daddyfied"
Love that can only be shared between dad and daughter
Every day that I have with you
Eternity of always having you in my life to love and cherish

Caleb


Continuous energy that reminds me to sometimes just be a child myself
All the good times and bad times that have made our bond stronger and helped me be a better dad
Lots and lots of sugies and noseys
Every time we have danced or just lounged around on the couch.
Bringing joy to my life since the day you were born.

April


All the memories we have and the ones we will continue to make.
Perseverance through the toughest of trials that have only made our love grow stronger.
Road trips where we miss our destination, but it doesn't matter because we are together.
Immeasurable love I feel every time I look into your eyes
Loving me despite my flaws








**Photos by Pretty Please Photography. Thanks for the fun session we had and the awesome pics!**

Following the Footsteps

"Baby, there's something I need to tell you."
"What is it honey? Everything okay?"
"I'm pregnant"
*long pause*
"Honey are you okay?"


Yes, if you have children then you know that feeling that you get during the *long pause* part of that conversation. Many feelings, in fact, come along with it: fear, anxiety, joy, gratefulness, and the very common brain fart that follows when trying to find the right words to answer back with.

Being a new father is definitely one of the most confusing, trying, and at the same time, joyous and awe inspiring times in ones life.It can be more so when you are on the younger end of the age spectrum as well when the news of a new baby is announced to you. But for new fathers, younger and older alike, there is good news: There are plenty of dads who have come before, and plenty of dads going through the same emotional ride. You are not alone.



I have always felt blessed to have such great examples of what it truly means to be a dad in my life. My great grandfather, both my mom's dad and dad's dad, and of course my father , have all been such inspiration when it comes to what it means to be a daddy. Jim, Bo, and Hermann are no longer with us anymore, but the memories of these men and what they did for their families will always live on with me, and my father who I know I can always turn to when I'm stuck, or feeling inadequate as a father. They have all lived their lives for their families, and have been examples of what it means to be a dad to many.

I was 24 when my son was born, and becoming a dad was very exciting, yet scary to me. I found myself in a tornado of emotions. From happy and excited, to scared out of my pants. I questioned myself (as I still often do) about how good of a dad I would be. Would my children grow up to love me? Will they think I am a good father? How will I know what they need when they need it and know how to take care of them? Many, many questions raced through my mind both times my wife made the announcement of being pregnant. I think we all have questioned ourselves as dads, and many of us still do.

This day and age, we are now blessed with things like Twitter, Facebook, and, for new dads and nervous dads, Dad-Blogs galore! I have really enjoyed the connections with other dads online and have learned much from reading other dad blogs. There is a wealth of information to be found online, as well as the content to be found in knowing that you are never alone.

As dads the world (and web) over seek to redefine the roll of the Dad and become more engaged in the lives of their children, it is awesome to know that for new and for younger dads, there are people out there who can tell you "I've been there" and "I know exactly what you are going through". I have found that generally, I am 7 to 15 years younger than the majority of other dad and dad-bloggers I talk to online. It is great to know that I can read their past blog posts, or just chat them up and learn from their experience and knowledge. It's a great outlet for all new and young fathers alike when the feelings become too much, and you feel like losing it.

So young and new dads learn this: You are NEVER alone in your fears and anxieties. There are dads who have come before us. There are our own dads, granddads, and dads online that have a wealth of experience and knowledge to share. There are footsteps to follow so you will never be on a path untraveled. And as we grow older, and our children start to go through the same things, we can live our lives as examples to them, so that they too, will not be alone.

**Original Picture (before edit and border) by Pretty Please Photography. Thanks for the awesome pictures and the fun time that we had!**

Being Someone Great - Hopes for my Children

All fathers have their own fears for their children when they are born. 
Mine were the fear they wouldn’t love me, the fear they were 
“breakable” and the most defining fear for me : The fear they would 
end up just like me. Not  physically, but in the sense of who they would 
become later on in life.



My reasoning behind this fear: I am 27 years old, a college dropout, 
working at Applebees making only 75 cents more than  I did when I 
started 2 1/2 years ago. I have no clue what I would want to do if I went 
back to school because I honestly don’t know what I would be good at. I 
am constantly trying to be a mediator in a battle of paycheck vs bills 
every 2 weeks.


Not the best way to be living, although don’t get me wrong, I know I am 
a lot better off than a lot of people, and I’ve been a lot lower in my own 
life to be able to still appreciate things like a roof, a shower, and of 
course having my family near me. 


I know when I die, most people won’t remember my name, or where I 
have worked, or even what I was most known for. I do hope people will 
remember what kind of spirit I had (if they think it’s a kind one) and what 
I did in my life for other people.


For my children, though, I do not want them to grow up and have to 
struggle. I do not want them to have to know the frustration, the stress, 
and the strain on life that exists in the world. I want them to go on to 
much better things than I have in my life.


I don’t wish for them to be famous movies stars, athletes, or musicians. 
I don’t wish for them to have a large bank account that affords them the 
riches they will never need. But I wish for their greatness.


Greatness defined : When my children have grown old and passed, I 
want people to remember them. I want them to have been people of 
integrity, people of immeasurable kindness, people of unshakable 
conviction. I want people to stand around and remember them as 
people who always put family first and did what they had to for their 
family. I want them to be known the world around for their acts of love 
and their words of truth. 


I want them to shine I light on the world that will never fade, never grow 
dim, and never be unseen. I want them to shower the world with a love 
that can be felt by all and a greatness that can really be admired. Not for 
 their worth, or talents, or products.


I sometimes feel I have failed my children in that I haven’t lived my life 
like this, and thus I have a fear they will end up like me. I feel that my 
inabilities and instablilties will not show them a life of “greatness” like I 
spoke of earlier. I pray for the strength to change myself to live with 
this greatness for the hopes that my children will one day be great. 

Top Ten Lessons I have Learned from my Kiddos

 I have been a proud father for 3 years now. Doesn’t seem like that long but in dad years it is. And in those 3 years I have learned many many things from my children. These are the top 10.


10) Cranky = Powerful … I know what you are thinking: “No cranky equals ANNOYING!”. Yes this is a true statement, but being the most easily determined observation, it blinds us to the secret power that lies behind the tears and screaming, and lurks under the time out chair like a snake waiting in tall grass. Under times of extreme stress, most parents have found themselves doing whatever it takes to calm their children down. And yes, even the best parents in the world can say they have given in before and met every demand until peace had filled the dwelling place, or eating establishment, or airport, or wherever the tantrum takes place. This gives the child ultimate control (and for the effort put forth) the power they feel when it is all over. 

9) Cuteness = Even more Power … Part 2 to the aboved mentioned power comes the power of being just too darn cute for their britches. After most heated battles in our house between parent and child (most the time my 3yo) comes acts of cuteness, and kidness, and I’m talking sugar, spice, all things rice. It gets laid on us like a 100 pound sack of wet rice, and both my wife and I tend to become putty. It’s the power to bring your shields completely down as well as gain their much wanted love, affection, and for the most part, attention. The wide puppy dog eyes, the slow walk over to you, the bear hug, and the soft “sugie” are weapons of mass destruction on your defensive front for control of the house.

8) They meant it! … Long before their language skills are developed enough to ramble on for hours about their favorite toy, children communicate through babble and gibberish and when it seems like they are letting you have it, they probably are!!! Okay, maybe not fussing at you, but when they look serious about what they are trying to communicate, they know exactly what they are saying and they mean it! 

7) Anything you can do I can do too! … Children develop very quick and in no time you find yourself with a “mini-you” following your every footstep, hanging onto every word you say, and closely studying your every move. And ultimately this means everything you do and say, your children will do their best to do and say as well. Everything from “Uh-oh” and “Pee-Pie” to The electric bill is HOW MUCH?!?!’ your children will try desperately to repeat. Not only an excellent way to try to learn and use new language skills, but to try to be just like the people they love and depend on the most. Everything from the way you dance, to shaving, to your body language when you talk, they will try their best to do. Any body language you display quickly becomes a part of their communications (and occasionally becomes a dance skill to them). Then of course is what they consider “cool adult stuff”. No, not that. Talking about washing dishes, talking on the phone, using the hair dryer. These are fascinating actions to go through for them and it is none the cooler to be able to perfectly imitate them to you for your approval.

6) No matter what your friends, your boss, or your parents tell you, you can be anything or anybody you want to be … Playing ball, playing Spiderman, playing house, playing school. These are just a small sampling of answers you could get to the question “what are you doing?” A child’s imagination is wild and ,sometimes, flat out entertaining and hilarious. They have the ability to be whoever they want and do whatever they want, at just about any time that they want to. It is fascinating to watch all the different people they can be and places they can go without ever leaving the living room. If they want to be the soccer monster, then they are the soccer monster. If they say the stuffed elephant is a dinosaur, then it is. When Caleb walks out of the room and says he’s going to the house, then that’s where he is going. In the land of the imagination, everything is possible. You can be anything, anybody, anywhere, any time you want.





5) Bedtime does not always mean peace and quiet, relaxation time, or alone time … Ah, the night sky has risen, the crickets are chirping and the kiddos are tucked away in bed for the *whining on the baby monitor* … I’ll be right back … Okay where was I? Oh yes, *whining on the monitor again* … Excuse me. “Caleb lay down and go to sleep you don’t need any water.” ….. As I was saying, the kiddos are tucked in bed and I’m now praying with all my might they will sleep now till sunrise. The downside to bedtime with children, and adults for that matter, is that you never know when a tummy ache, nightmare, or a good ole sleep walking incident will interrupt what could easily be the best part of any young parent’s day. Night time is the time you look forward to the most when there can be silence and peacefullness. But we all have those nights where it just seems that it’s written in stone that you will look like a raccoon with bags under your eyes the next day. 

4) You are a hero no matter how much you feel you have failed … All of us parents go through times where we feel like we have ultimately failed our children. When they get hurt, when they are angry at us, or when things just don’t seem to be going right at all in life. But no matter what is going on in your life, you are always a hero to your children. You are superhuman to them. Our children depend on us for their well being as well as their emotional stability. When they get a boo boo and you kiss it better, you are their hero. When they are sad and you can find a way to make them laugh, you are their hero. Even when all you have done is something they consider extraordinary and super cool, you are their hero. No matter what life is throwing at you and how difficult it is to handle, you are still a hero to them. And with that, you can have a little peace of mind even in the toughest of situations just knowing that someone in this world still thinks you are a hero.

3) Actions speak louder than words … Everything from the discipline of our children, to arguments with our spouses, to cheering for our children at their soccer games, actions we display speak to them a lot louder than our words. Just as much as they are watching and trying to imitate everything we do, children are also trying to learn when to use certain actions and words. And most the time, the actions are more easily used than the language skills. They will learn about flailing their arms, hitting things, the action of putting your finger to your nose in an attempt to silence them. What to do in stressful situations, or happy occasions, or in times of sadness, are all things our children will learn from us before learning anywhere else. ALL of our actions are observed and repeated. And this should call us to be vigilant and choose carefully our actions for they will affect evn the littlest of people, the kiddos.

2) Faith like a Child … Kids will believe just about anything you tell them. “Daddy, I wanna watch football birds”. “Sorry son, football birds is broken. Why don’t we watch Blues Clues?” … “ALRIGHT!!!” See how easy it was to change the programming choice? The same rings true with almost anything you tell a child. Children have a blind faith that the Vatican only wish it had. Children cannot see around little lies and truth bending we do to avoid certain situations. They have blindness to real world events and hardcore adult feelings. If you tell them you are okay, then you are. If you tell them you are sad, then you are. Even in play time, you tell them you are a dragon that’s going to “skit” them, then you are a big fire breathing dragon. A child trusts their parents and cloase relatives and friends because they do not no anything different. All the way from first time spending the night away from home to the first night spent in their college dorm, our children trust our judgement and our words withh 100% blind faith, a faith we seem to lose when we grow up and become aware of a lot more. But it’s a faith that is not to be taken for granted, to be inspired by, and to remain in awe of.

And the most important lesson I have learned from my children: To love without boundaries, is to love without hesitation, without question, and with an open heart. All parents love their children with a love like none other. Stronger even than the love you have for a spouse, or family member, or family pet. And the love children have for their parents is without a doubt a love that can never be explained, never be reciprocated, and always make you feel better than a triple stacked ice cream cone on a hot southern afternoon. A child’s love is as blind as the faith that allows this love to exist. It’s a love that says you will never know how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate you in my life. A love that reminds us all, that in the face of uncertainty, and in a world that seems to crumble away day by day, there is a reason for hope, and a reason to look towards the future with blind ambition. 

What it Means to be "Daddy" and "Hubby"

So I recently began noticing this trend on the web concerning fatherhood. This trend that fathers do not get the respect that they deserve and everything is geared towards mommy. That as dads we should stand up and be noticed in the roll of child raising and responsibility we carry. That we should fight against the mommy geared world and let our voice be heard. 
Maybe being a father doesn’t exactly strike gold at an interview or in social outlets, but it does mean more than a world of gold to our children and wives. And I think we have lost focus of that. Maybe I am alone in this thought but I figured I would share my view anyway.





Being a father and being a husband should not be categorized the same way being as they are two different worlds that must be balanced in your life. Fatherhood may not have the same glitter to it that it used to, but you can’t be too busy blaming this and that for it. Instead I think we should be more active in our own parenthood so that our children and wives do not view us as the rest of the world may.


As a father the primary focus should be what your children think of you, not networks and retail stores. I know very well that the world is always more “mommy friendly” but that doesn’t mean our children are. Stay at home dad, or working dad like myself, we are all fathers, and that is the bottom line. 


I may not know as much as my wife, who is a stay at home mother, because I don’t have the interaction time she does with my children. But I do not view this as an obstacle to overcome in my life. I view it as an opportunity. Any time that I am home, or I am out with my children is a time for them to see what kind of father they have. I am by no means father of the year, but I try my best to make sure my children know that no matter what, I am always here for them to protect them, teach them, guide them, and play with them. I am here to nurture them when I can and show them that the love their father has is unmatched by any other. 
My wife knows more about what size clothes they wear, where the best deals are on diapers and wipes, and how to discern the different cries. She knows their facial expressions and mannerisms  better than I may ever know them. But I do not resent her for that, nor do I think I should fight against people who think the same thing. It does not make me a bad father that she knows more. 


Husbanddom is the same. I support my wife no matter what. I do not resent her for the knowledge of my children she has and I would never fight against anything that is a benefit to her. I think that as a husband, it is my job to listen, to put aside the outside views and be the best husband I can be. To love her, support her, and praise her for the roll she has in our family. 


I do not think it is right to spend much time arguing that I am not equal to her, because in a lot of ways I am not, and that’s the way it is. Instead, I think we should be more pro-active in supporting and uplifting our wives for their rolls, whether it means admitting they know more or you are equal to them. The real sign of a man is being one who can humble themselves and acknowledge that they may not be equal in all aspects and that is okay.


I know this seems like a ramble, but I think another voice in this whole “mommy vs daddy” struggle needed to be heard. Please comment with your opinion whether you agree or not. I’m curious as to how people feel about this.

Hell Hath No Fury like Half a Stale Cheesie

My son was just over a year old when his real passion for cheesies became full blown.

Those orange, crunchy, messy, delicious little snacks that just about every child in america has eaten by the age of 2.

He loved those things. (still does!) After a long day of running circles around the apartment and wearing daddy out, the time had come to call in the elite task force of cheesies to occupy him so I could relax a moment.



I laid a few cheesies on the floor and immediately he has one in each hand and his face is the color of a basketball. I use this opportunity to use the bathroom in peace and catch a cig under the exhaust fan.

I look back down just in time to find the little booger pulling half a cheesie from under the edge of the fridge and slowly bringing it to his mouth. My instant reaction: LORD KNOWS HOW LONG THAT HAS BEEN DOWN THERE!!!

I snatch the above mentioned cheesie from his hand and in a cute voice say “Ewww, thats nassy!”. And then it hit me: My sons hand comes in swift contact with my leg, his eyes fill up with tears, and the crying commences.

In great desperation to calm him down I drop this cheesie back on the floor to pick him up. Before I can get my hands in his armpits, the cheesie is in his mouth, he is quiet and content.

That is when I learned one of parenthoods greatest lessons: Hell hath no fury like half a stale cheesie.

Kiddos Love it When Daddy Acts Stupid

In my 3 years being a father there is one lesson out of the thousands I have learned that can save you in the most sanity-testing situations you may find yourself in. The lesson is silly yet simple: Cranky babies love it when daddy acts stupid.

Of course the preferred choice of distraction still remains snacks, jumping on the bed, or watching YouTube videos, but sometimes that doesn't work and you find yourself developing a very serious case of "Ohmygoshthesekidsaredrivingmenutsitus". It was during a heavy episode of above mentioned condition that I found myself feeling and acting stupid and my kids LOVED IT!

A few tips on how digressing o the mentality of the children will not only calm them down and solve your sanity issue of the time, but remind you what it is like to be a child and allow you to live a few moments with not a care in the world.

Exhibit A: Caleb has just finished a 10 minute lap race around the downstairs of the apartment and in his tired state has run straight into the wall, head first. He comes running up, eyes full of tears, barely able to catch a breath between screams and says "Daddy my head! Daddy my head!". My very first attempt to calm him with "awww my poor buggaboo it's okay" was an epic fail and the tears continued. So then I tried "Would you like some cheesies or some gummies?". Once again, epic fail. The crying continued.

Thinking he might be really hurt I ask him what hurts. "My head" he says. So I start to play doctor with him. After looking his head over thoroughly with a few hmmmm's and aha's I notice he is starting to grin. So I pull back from him real fast and yell "AHA!!! IT'S YO HEAD!!!" ... and he loses it. Laughter cannot be contained and I thought he was going to explode. I do this over and over and over till he gets the hiccups. Acting stupid cured it!

Exhibit B: Everyone knows there is nothing funnier than the sound made while breaking wind. Especially if you are a kid. My daughter Marlee, having just learned to pull up, is easily distracted by having "poot poots" blown on her feet. This comes in handy quite often as she learns the hard way what she can and can't do yet.

The stairs offered a new challenge to her just a few weeks ago. After a few tries she finally gets in standing position with her legs up against the bottom stair. And, as nature calls for, gravity set in and the Pooties went down. She quickly sits up, looks at me with those adorable, yet sad, puppy dog eyes, and the wailing begins.

I rush over and pick her up as quick as possible. Immediately I realize "it's okay" is not going to work. So I do the only thing I can think of. I lay Marlee down on her back and grab her feet. In the silliest voice possible I say "Isa ..... gonnna....BLOW POOT POOTS ON YOUR FEET!!" and blow a raspberry on her foot. The tears recede, the angelic smile returns, and the laughter begins. I never knew such a little human was capable of such laughs. To add to this, she breaks a little wind of her own while laughing and Caleb hears it. Trying not to fall over from laughing so hard he runs over to me, proudly opens his mouth and says "MARLEE YOU FARTED!!!". Loving her brother so much, and always wanting to imitate, she squeals with delight and laughs till she spits up.

I love my children. They are my world and my life. And I have learned so much from them, not just about parenting, but about how to be a child every now and then and just let the fears of the world subside in your mind. Whether rich, or poor, big city, or country bumpkin, if you have children, there is an escape from the world like none other. By being my silliest (and sometimes my dumbest) I digress back to a time where the worst that could happen was my favorite ball going down the gutter, or hey wait, nobody is watching me. To a time where the most important thing is playtime. Where I am free to be who I want, when I want. To be the child, laughing, running in circles, jumping on the bed, and blowing bubbles in the bathtub.

Kids like it when you act stupid in front of them. Maybe it's a keen sense of feeling smarter than you or the sense of I'm not different. But I think it's the bond that is made when you allow yourself to not only be a parent, but a best friend. The world doesn't always have to be so grown up, and sometimes, neither should we.