Real Talk: What it Means to be a "Real Man"

After some great conversations with some equally great men, I have decided to start a series of posts about being a "real man". Along the way I will be posting about different areas in my life that I am trying to be more real in and will also feature guest posts from other guys about what it means to them to be a "real man".

Let me start with this disclaimer: This is not a post about machismo attitudes or sheer brute strength and the ability to have any woman you want. Nothing about those things mean being a "real man" to me. So if you are looking for posts about the ability to lift a VW Beetle by myself, or the number of girls that think I'm the bomb, then  Google it, and look there. This is about much more personal and deeper meaning of the term "real man".

I'm not perfect. I am very far from it. I am not always the greatest husband and the greatest father, greatest brother and greatest son. I can try though. And I can try my best to be real in every aspect of my life. What does it mean, though, to be a "real man"?

To me, it means being the man you are called to be. Being the man your family needs you to be. I can admit that I have not always been that man. Nobody is perfect, so it is to be expected that no man can ever be exactly the man they need to be or want to be. And it is a goal I don't think can ever really be met, but can always be strived for. We all want the best out of life, and want the best for our families. In this regard we are called to be real, to be honest and open in our lives. We are called to lay aside the worldy view of men for a more personal view of the men we are individualy and personally.

As life moves on and changes us, also we must change with life. As life has carried me to the point I am at, I have been able to take note of the ever changing world, and my ever changing self. As of recently, being more of a "real man" and being more active in the lives of my children, and more active in my role as a husband, has been on the forefront of my mind. Growing up has its challenges, and these are just two of them. As a working man, it is not easy to always know everything about my children, but I try. I try to spend good, quality time with them when I am home, and I have learned to value the time I have with them. As for marriage, I am not even going to pretend I can give any direction to anyone about it. Everyone's relationships are different, and is just another area that challenges us. Being more open, and honest, caring and understanding ... the true challenge of becoming a "real man".

I have thought about this more and more recently after some great conversations with other men who try their best to be real in their lives, and be honest and open with everyone they come in contact with. I find that the more I am honest  and open the better I feel about myself, and the better connected I can be with my wife, my coworkers, friends, and family.

Being a real man is not about strength, sexuality, knowledge of sports, or knowledge of beer. It is not about how many women you can pick up, or how many shots you take before you are completely sloshed. It is about being honest. Being open, and unafraid to wear your emotions and feelings and thoughts on your sleeve for the world to see.

Throughout this series, you will see guest posts from men who strive to be real, and what being a "real man" means to them. Men: The world is constantly changing and so are we. The call has been placed for all men to lay aside boyish dreams and ideas of masculine dominance, and to be more real. Time to show the world that there are men who are honest, unashamed to show their flaws, and not afraid to let their emotions out. There are men who want to be real.

*if you feel you have something you can add to this series, or want to share what beign a real man means to you, please feel free to e-mail me at thedaddyyoblog@gmail.com and I will be happy to talk with you*

Quick Q&A with Chris Singer: Being a SAHD

There are a lot of areas in parenting and being a father that I have experience in. Not that I'm an expert, I am way far from it. Experiences are not experiences if you always know what you are doing. One area I do not have experience in and am unable to write about, is being a SAHD. My wife has been the at home parent for three years counting while I work. Which is how I like it. Not that I don't want to be home (I would love not having to work) but because I believe a mother has a stronger connection being the carrier of the child for 9 months, and I want my children to be raised by one of their parents and not a caregiver. 

Seeing the recent trend in dads being the at home parent, and due to the recent connections I have made with SAHDs on Twitter, I thought I would use my next Q&A post to have a SAHD answer a few questions to share the world of at home parenting with everyone. This blog is about the adventures in dadhood, and being an at home dad is one of those adventures.

Enter into the scene Chris Singer, aka @tessasdad. Chris is a SAHD from Lansing, Michigan. I asked Chris to share a little bit about his experiences as a SAHD to give everyone soe insight into an area of fatherhood often unknown and unfamiliar to a lot of people. In traditional, old school America, it has always been the mother who stays home while the dad works. These days, more and more dads are the at home parent, and more are choosing to be. Thank you Chris for sharing with us a little bit into the world of a SAHD. Enjoy!

Window to the World: A Dad's Eye View

When I was little it always seemed that all the world was a stage and that life was a movie starring myself. I could never see the dangers that lie ahead in life, the letdowns, the downsides that everyone must experience. Change was happening all around, but I couldn't see it, couldn't understand it.


Now I have two little ones of my own, and the view of the world has changed so much. Activities that as a child seemed so harmless, I now look at with fear while watching my children.


Jokes that seemed so funny, so harmless in high school, now seem so cruel, so uncalled for and shameful.


I guess that's how it is when you grow up and have children. The world is in a constant state of change, but so am I. The view through the window is never the same twice, and neither is the view from the eye's of a dad. I want the best for my children, for them to be happy, healthy and safe. I don't see the world as I once did. I know about the dangers, the unfairness, the letdowns my children will face. I don't see the unending canvas of endless possibilities of fun and excitement. 


My eyes see the world in a different light now. But I guess that's part of the job and part of growing up. I see the world as a dad would see it. A scary place to set your kids into, a place of uncertainty and excitement. A challenge to show the world who I am as a dad as it reflects through my children. A challenge against the visions of manhood we see displayed all around us, and a fight against the way the world depicts me as being a dad. 


Maybe I'm just rambling, and perhaps the words will get lost with the past views that have passed in front of my window. Perhaps it's not the world that has changed, just I. Just me. Just dad.



Old window and wall by Petr Kratochvil

Feature Friday - 2 Dads and a Mom

Ladies and gentleman, moms and dads, readers of all ages, it is once again Friday. To continue a posting theme I used to write on the old Facebook page, today is FEATURE FRIDAY!!!  Every few Fridays I will post a feature of 3 blogs that I read on a regular basis and a little info about the writers. It has been a while since I have done one and I figured it would be a good way to start off the first friday in June. Traditionally it is a feature of dad blogs but today I will be featuring a mom blog as well. So let's get rocking!!!

First up we have Nucking Futs Mama - A great blog by, you guessed it, @nuckingfutsmama. Mother of 2, husband to Papa Nuckingfuts, and crazy as all get out! Her blog chronicles what it is about life, family and motherhood that will drive a woman to be nucking futs. Featuring her popular "Things I've Learned this Week" weekly post to summarize the week and always reminding herself that "Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle". Give a nice loud DaddyYo Blog round of applause to Nucking Futs Mama!


Next up for your reading pleasure we have A TwistedChristian Dad - Written by none other than @twistedxtian. This nice dad blog shares the journeys of a once SAHD (now working again) through the wonders, excitements, and experiences we all know as dadhood. A husband and dad to one adorable little boy, musician, bow hunter, and studier of Christian theology (check oout his theology blog here), @twistedxtian details his journey through life in this great little piece of the web. Ladies and Gents, I present to you, A TwistedChristian Dad!


And last, but certainly not least, in today's feature, let's bring the house down for Carrying a Cat by the Tail! from @spudsgotstonz. A new comer to my followers and blog list, but definitely worth the shout out. This cat holds down a house full and half with 6 kids, 4 boys and 2 girls, 3 dogs, 4 cats, a turtle, a guinea pig and a partridge in a pear tree (and for his sanity's sake a beer or 6 in the fridge). This great dad blog details all the chaos, good and bad, for all to see. Let's hear it for Carrying a Cat by the Tail!


And there you have it folks. Feature Friday here at The DaddyYo Blog. Seriously, give these people a look. I promise you will not be disappointed. Until next time, have a great weekend and ROCK ON!!!

Wordless Wednesday - A Look Through Time in the Lives of my Kiddos

Love of Children

Nothing demonstrates real love for another person as the love of a child for his/her sibling. I can see it in my kiddos eyes everyday, and it makes me take the time to think: when is it we lose the ability to love someone in that capacity?

Caleb and Marlee's love for each other is so firm and so real. The way she looks at him in adoration and the way he looks at her in amazement. I always stand back in awe of the way these two have made their love for each other so transparent and powerful. The love of a child is like none other.