Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Real Talk: Balance of being Hubby and Daddy

As dads, we are always struggling with how to be the best daddy we can be and the best men we can be. In the "Real Talk" series, we have talked about what it means to be a "real man" in different areas of our lives. Being a dad, being a husband, having courage, and making changes.

Then yesterday, my mom put the seed in my brain in raising this issue: To be the best dads you can be, you also must be the best husband-partner you can be. Powerful thought! There is a balance in our lives between being the best dad and being the best partner for our spouses. Both of which are very important in having a healthy relationship with our families, and for helping us become "real men".

 Obviously, in some situations, it is not always possible for both parents to be at home, and I understand and acknowledge that completely. Choices that other's make are their choices and I am not here in any manner to step on peoples toes or to judge. However, I cannot write this post from that perspective not being in that type of situation myself. And I will not pretend to know about anything I don't know. This post deals with those of us who are married or have a partner at home. That being said, let's move on, shall we?

How do we balance maintaining both relationships with our spouses and our children? And which takes priority over the other? We want our children to learn about love and kindness and respect from ourselves and our spouses. Because of this desire, it is neccesary for us to have a loving, respectful, and understanding relationship with our partners and spouses if we want our children to grow up learning how to love from us.

We all know that when you become a parent, the relationship with your spouse changes drastically. The sweet sentiments, little love notes, date nights, all seem to fall to the side as we scramble to calm a crying child or to get bottles made, diapers changed, and so on. And we have all had the attitudes that our children take priority over everything, and to a degree it is true. But if we want to raise our children with love, and to teach them what love is, our relationships with our spouses MUST be in order.

Now, I am not the perfect husband by any means, and my wife would be happy to tell you so. Marriage is just as much of a job as the ones we take to support our families financially. Stress from our everyday routines and the added stress raising children can take it's toll on our relationships. Therefore it is important that we make our spousal relationships a priority in our lives in order to raise our children in a home of love.

Dads: We all love our children and our spouses and partners without end, wihout limit, and without even thinking about it. And we want to live in a home, and raise our children in love and kindness so that we prepare them to be loving people and prepare them for what it will take to maintain these relationships when the time comes for them.

So go now, hug your significant one, tell them you love them, hug your children and tell them you love them, and then join me and striving to be a "real man" in raising a home and family in love.


Brett said...

Great day for blog posts around taking some time w/ the spouse. Spend a lot of time dealing w/ stress together that we forget that we're probably our best stress relief, too. It's too easy to direct frustration at each other. Goal for tonight: a good 15 min of down time, just me and the lady.

Anonymous said...

Awesome goal man! I think maybe we should all make that a goal for tonight. What do you think?

Eric - BHF said...

I'm in.

Great post. I love the age old balancing act between our two most important roles. I would have to say that the spouse should be #1, but the children are a close 2nd. We have to raise our children on a solid foundation of a strong marriage.

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