Tuesday, April 20, 2010

What it Means to be "Daddy" and "Hubby"

So I recently began noticing this trend on the web concerning fatherhood. This trend that fathers do not get the respect that they deserve and everything is geared towards mommy. That as dads we should stand up and be noticed in the roll of child raising and responsibility we carry. That we should fight against the mommy geared world and let our voice be heard. 
Maybe being a father doesn’t exactly strike gold at an interview or in social outlets, but it does mean more than a world of gold to our children and wives. And I think we have lost focus of that. Maybe I am alone in this thought but I figured I would share my view anyway.

Being a father and being a husband should not be categorized the same way being as they are two different worlds that must be balanced in your life. Fatherhood may not have the same glitter to it that it used to, but you can’t be too busy blaming this and that for it. Instead I think we should be more active in our own parenthood so that our children and wives do not view us as the rest of the world may.

As a father the primary focus should be what your children think of you, not networks and retail stores. I know very well that the world is always more “mommy friendly” but that doesn’t mean our children are. Stay at home dad, or working dad like myself, we are all fathers, and that is the bottom line. 

I may not know as much as my wife, who is a stay at home mother, because I don’t have the interaction time she does with my children. But I do not view this as an obstacle to overcome in my life. I view it as an opportunity. Any time that I am home, or I am out with my children is a time for them to see what kind of father they have. I am by no means father of the year, but I try my best to make sure my children know that no matter what, I am always here for them to protect them, teach them, guide them, and play with them. I am here to nurture them when I can and show them that the love their father has is unmatched by any other. 
My wife knows more about what size clothes they wear, where the best deals are on diapers and wipes, and how to discern the different cries. She knows their facial expressions and mannerisms  better than I may ever know them. But I do not resent her for that, nor do I think I should fight against people who think the same thing. It does not make me a bad father that she knows more. 

Husbanddom is the same. I support my wife no matter what. I do not resent her for the knowledge of my children she has and I would never fight against anything that is a benefit to her. I think that as a husband, it is my job to listen, to put aside the outside views and be the best husband I can be. To love her, support her, and praise her for the roll she has in our family. 

I do not think it is right to spend much time arguing that I am not equal to her, because in a lot of ways I am not, and that’s the way it is. Instead, I think we should be more pro-active in supporting and uplifting our wives for their rolls, whether it means admitting they know more or you are equal to them. The real sign of a man is being one who can humble themselves and acknowledge that they may not be equal in all aspects and that is okay.

I know this seems like a ramble, but I think another voice in this whole “mommy vs daddy” struggle needed to be heard. Please comment with your opinion whether you agree or not. I’m curious as to how people feel about this.

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