Men typically have two important roles in their life. These roles are so intertwined that you can hardly tell where one ends and the other begins. Also, success in one is largely dependent on success in the other. Of course I am talking about roles of Husband and Father.
Over at my blog, Better Husbands and Fathers, I write about both roles, their relationship to each other, and how to be better at each of them. So, naturally when John asked me to write on what it means to me to be the “best husband” I can be, I was excited - Here’s my simple answer: Effort. You see, there is a reason why I didn’t name my blog “Great Husbands and Fathers” or “Perfect Husbands and Fathers.” This is because the key to being the best husband you can be is in the process of trying to be better, in other words, it’s the mentality of continuous improvement. The word “better” implies a never-ending process, and that’s exactly what it is. If you think you are already the best husband you can be, you need to try harder!
There are, however, some specific things that you can do (or areas where you should focus this effort):
· Romance – Romance is probably the #1 thing that makes a good husband a better husband. Spend a little effort to do romantic things, like write love notes or get her flowers just because. Most wives are just waiting for their husbands to be more romantic.
· Date Your Wife – I cannot stress enough the importance of this. Without a weekly date night (away from children) it is very easy for a husband and wife to grow apart. Use this time to talk and have real conversations. Talk about more than just your children. Talk about your hopes, dreams, and goals. This is also be a great opportunity to practice some of that romance we were talking about!
· Speak her love language – If you are not familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages,” you should be. The premise is this: not everyone feels love the same way. It’s likely that you and your wife do not speak the same love language. It is important that you learn which language your wife speaks, so she can know you love her. For example, my wife’s love language is gifts; when I get her something that shows I was thinking about her, she knows that I love her.
Trying to be a better husband also makes you a better father! Children thrive when they are in a stable family where the parents love each other and openly show it. I am trying to be a better husband for my wife - I want her to be as happy with me as I am with her. It's a challenge, but I'm up for it! who’s with me?
Eric
1 comment:
I've always loved the idea of using the word "better" instead of "best" or "perfect." Better means we are always working toward something instead of some unattainable goal.
My wife and I read the 5 love languages, and while it just confirmed what we knew about each other, it gave great ideas on different ways to fulfill those languages for each other.
I noticed that being a better husband naturally spilled over into being a better father after having our son, which is awesome. Being a better husband really improves life in general. :) Great post!
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